


Doors and Carpets

by Es_Aitch



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Pete's World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-08 09:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is from the Human Doctor's perspective because when I started it, I couldn't find one from his side that I liked. Also, I think Rose is a brat - especially for asking the Doctor "not to change" and for "it needing saying" - If you don't like that, don't read this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored with this work, so it's only 14 Chapters and doesn't really end. If I get inspired from the 50th, I might pick it up again.

They heard the dematerialization sequence begin and she broke the kiss.  He had just started to respond to it.  He sighed.  She took a couple of running steps.  He knew it was already too late, but he wished that she would have kept kissing him - at least it served as a bit of a distraction.  He knew the TARDIS was leaving forever and it felt like his single heart was being ripped out of him in order to follow it.  He thought for a moment that she would be as stupid as Jack had been and jump for the doors.  She stopped as the Blue Box faded from view. 

He sighed knowing that the real work was about to begin and the next few moments would set the foundation.  He swallowed back his own suffering as he slowly approached her.  He came along her side and took her hand in his... in _that_ hand... his right hand.  He looked down at their joined hands.  The memory of that familiar gesture burned through him almost like acid.  He looked up to see the empty space where his constant companion, the TARDIS, once stood.  He found it ironic that he considered the memories associated with Rose as _his_ (the Time Lord) and the memories of the TARDIS as his own. 

He turned to face Rose at that moment and she turned to face him at the same time.  There were questions and doubts and even a bit of hope in her eyes.  He kept his face as expressionless as possible.  During the next forty-four point four - three - two seconds they stood like that.  Then she let his hand go and walked back towards Jackie.  Well, at least his sense of time was still in tact.  He had said the part of him that is human was specifically the aging part, but he wondered how much of his physiology had changed.  "Doctor," Jackie's voice had a hint of concern as she broke his reverie, "Come on, it's freezing out here.  Hardbakke is just up the way there.  Pete's already called ahead to the hotel."  

He was still just standing there, staring.  He shook his head, "Hardbakke?  This area isn't well populated and they have a hotel?  Tourists, I suppose.  The area is known for fishing.  I wonder if fish taste different here.  Or if they look different..." 

Jackie just stared at him.  He tried to make light while addressing Rose, "Have you seen any with say two heads... or no head at all?" 

It was a half-hearted attempt repeating the words from just before his ninth regeneration.  She did not even break a smile... this was not going to be easy for any of them.  As they walked along, he asked them if they knew of any differences in the formation of the Earth in this universe.  Since neither seemed to, he explained how plate tectonics moving the continents had created all the little islands.  He talked about how the ingenious humans found ways to build bridges so that they could travel between them.  When he ran out of talking about geology and engineering, he turned to talking about the local vegetation.  As he talked on, he heard Jackie comment, "Well, the gob hasn't changed, that's sure!"

The fact of the matter was that he did not want there to be any break in conversation.  A gap might allow them the chance to ask questions.  Questions to which he was sure they would not like his answers.  Worse, it might lead to silence which would allow him to acknowledge the horrible quiet that his missing TARDIS left in his head.  (Another bit of his Time Lord self still present.)  He felt the way she pulled out of his mind.  He was still telepathic, at least to an extent.  He wondered how he would test it. 

He walked with his hands in his pockets, because if he touched Rose Tyler anymore, he might be forced to tell her the truth right now and that would not be a good thing.   He had to give her time.  Give all of them time, really.   He knew they were all in a state of shock to varying degrees.  He was so appreciative that Jackie was tolerating his constant stream.  He is not sure what changed, but something happened in the brief exchange when Jackie joked that her son's name was "Doctor" and then revealed the actual name as "Tony." 

It had not taken long for them to get to the hotel, but the Doctor was chilled to the bone when they arrived.  Well, this was one part of his physiology that had changed.  He supposed that went along with the single heartbeat that now beat in the center, rather than on each side, of his chest.  He sighed heavily and for the first time since the beach, Rose looked at him, "You okay?" 

He made an attempt to smile but it might have looked more like a grimace, "I'm fine." 

Then a shiver went up his spine.  He tried to hide it, but could not.  Rose's eyebrows shot up, "Your coat!" 

He shrugged, "Left it behind..." he had not intended to leave the sentence end there, but could not quite bring himself to say the rest.

They were at the doors to the hotel and the Doctor held it open for Jackie and Rose.  Jackie smiled and thanked him, Rose just walked through, as she so often did.  Pete had arranged for the penthouse which had several rooms as well as two full en suites.  Jackie was babbling about how Pete had arranged for their early check-in and that a storm in London was preventing him from sending a zeppelin today, but the forecast for tomorrow should mean they could leave then.  She was gesturing around the place pointing out the coffee and tea packets and then she started the water kettle.  Rose sat on one of the couches and stared out the window, which happened to face the beach.

When the water was heated, Jackie offered him some tea.  "Tannins," he exclaimed brightly, "Just what I need after a regen... what happened.  It'll heal those synapses right up!" 

He sat at the small table in such a way that he could watch Rose.  He sipped his tea, pleased that his Time Lord sense of taste was still in tact.  Perhaps he could let himself believe that his line about "specifically the aging part" was really true.  Jackie was trying hard to make small talk.  She was trying too hard, but her efforts made him smile.  He interrupted her as he grimaced into his tea, "It tastes different here." 

She looked at him, "Everything does, dear.  At least a little bit.  'Course now that I've done a bit of travelin' here, I imagine it's no different than how familiar foods taste from one country to another." 

The Doctor smiled at her analysis, "Jackie Tyler, I've underestimated you!  That's brilliant!" 

Jackie blushed under his unexpected compliment.  Rose rolled her eyes, said nothing and continued to look out the window.

Suddenly, a loud noise came from the Doctor's stomach.  "Oh, humanity.  Now, _that_ is disgusting," he quipped. 

He caught a small smile cross Rose's lips.  Jackie said, "Oh, you're probably starving, I'll call up some room service."  

The Doctor looked at her, "Could we go out instead?"  He gave her his best puppy-dog eyes. 

She tried to rebuke him sternly, "Alright, but only if you behave yourself." 

He said with a bit of Donna's roughness, "Oi! I'm always on my best behavior!" 

Jackie got up and took his mug from him as he stood to follow her.  She met his eyes, then looked behind him at Rose and gave him an encouraging nod.  "I'll head on down," she said, "I'll get a table, why don't you two follow in a bit? Rose knows where I'm headed." 

The Doctor nodded and Jackie left the room. 

He slowly approached Rose and stood next to the sofa, "Staring at the beach isn't going to bring him back...  I should know," he casually tapped the side of his head. 

He immediately regretted it when he realized that Rose may think him knowing something about the Time Lord rather than simply acknowledging his timeline sensitivities, which were still there, though a hair muted.  She did not look at him, "He did it again... walked away without so much as a goodbye." 

He sighed and sat down next to her, "Oh, Rose, don't know you what that would have done to him?" 

She huffed softly, "Why didn't he just say it?" 

And there it was... the question he was dreading.  He looked at her intently, willing her eyes to leave the window and find his.  When she did not turn, he spoke, gently, "Look at me.  Rose, look at me." 

She hesitantly turned her head, afraid if her eyes left the beach for one moment, she might miss the return. The Doctor swallowed and she watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, "Those words have so many meanings in this world.  And I -er he- er _we're_ men of action.  So many people have told us that we talk all the time and never say anything.  And they're right, to an extent.  Because our actions speak louder than anything." 

She looked at him seeming to not have heard his answer and she asked another question, "And you…  What are you... really?" 

He nodded, it was a fair question, "I'm part-human, part-Time Lord." 

"But, what does that mean?" she was searching his eyes for the answer. 

He saw a reflection of his own in hers.  They still contained the look of someone who's spent lifetimes in the Time Vortex. The Doctor sighed, "You saw it happen.  He partially regenerated.  He put all that energy into the hand."  He wiggled the fingers of his right hand.  "And the energy just sat there dormant, until there was a way to release it.  Remember when we fought the Sycorax?"

She nodded slightly, "He was within the first fifteen hours of his regeneration, so he was able to grow a new hand." 

The Doctor nodded, "Same idea.  If a Time Lord had touched my hand, I would have been full Time Lord.  But, it was Donna, a human... so I'm part human." 

She looked at his hand and he wiggled his fingers again, she looked as if she was about to take it, then stopped herself. 

"He was wrong, though," the Doctor said.  Rose looked at him as he continued, "The blood and anger and revenge he spoke of... Well, _this_ ," he closed and opened his hand, "this wasn't his fighting hand.  What I did to the Daleks was no different than what he did during the Time War, or what you did on Satellite Five.  We all did what we had to do to preserve the universe.  He's just... seen too much.  He would be perfectly happy to never see another death again."  He was staring at his right hand and her gaze followed his. 

She suddenly took it in hers, "So, how do I think of you then?" 

He cocked his head to the side, "How do you mean?" 

She said, "Well, you're him, but you're not.  And I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it." 

The Doctor smiled softly, "I'm still the Doctor, Rose.  The way I'm approaching it right now is like any other regeneration.  I still have all the memories and knowledge of my ten lives.  And I've always gotten a bit confused when referring to my previous selves around humans.  I find it easiest to say he, but that's just a pronoun, because they're all me.  And I am all of them." 

She squeezed his hand in what he hoped was a bit of acceptance.  His stomach grumbled again.  She sighed and looked out at the beach again.  "Rose," he spoke softly, "You don't have to wait five and a half hours.  I'm right here."  

She looked at him again but there was no smile, "So, he won't even try to come back, will he?"  A tear slid down her cheek. 

He replied, "He can't.  But, he doesn't have to because he knows I'm here.  I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it was a sacrifice that he left me here with you."  

His stomach growled yet again.  He looked down at it, "Knock that off, I'm trying to have a conversation here and it doesn't involve you!"  He caught Rose smile faintly at that.  "That was a smile." 

She shook her head, "No.  No it wasn't." 

"Oh, but it was," he countered, "In fact, it was the second smile since we've been in this room." 

She looked at him, "No it isn't." 

He nodded, "It is.  The first was when I talked about how disgusting..." his stomach made another noise, " _that_ is."  He grinned widely and she smiled again.  "And now, that makes three," he exclaimed triumphantly. 

She almost giggled, almost, "Well, come on, it's not gonna stop if we keep sitting here.  Let's get some food in there and make it stop."  She stood up and gestured to the door. 

He smiled and said, "Allons-y!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was about to post this yesterday when I heard about the events in Boston, so I delayed in respect for that. That said, send good thoughts to the people of Iran as well. Another major Earthquake hit there today.
> 
> * * *

As they walked to the little café, the silence was companionable.  The conversation had gone better than he had hoped.  But, he knew there was still so much more to say.  He was glad that she did not ask about Satellite Five.  He had promised himself to never tell her the truth of what had happened there.  Now, not even twenty-four hours into his human life, he had let some of it slip.  Perhaps that was the concern the Time Lord had.  He was now human.  For as brilliant as humanity combined with a Time Lord mind had made Donna, it was turning him into an emotional fool.  First, impulsively destroying the Daleks and now letting a secret slip out almost unknown to him. 

They entered the little cafe and noticed Jackie sitting at a corner table.  She had already ordered a pot of tea and the menus were already sitting on the table.  The Doctor reached into the breast pocket of his suit for his glasses.  Inwardly, he sighed with relief when his fingers brushed with a pair.  He put them on and grinned.  Rose had a brief look of confusion.  He supposed it was understandable, it was a gesture she had seen the Time Lord do many times, but the first time she had seen him do it.  He glanced over the menu, grateful that although he was no longer connected to the translation circuit, he could still translate languages on his own. 

The waitress came over and tried to take their orders in broken English.  The Doctor tested his language skills by ordering for the three of them in near-perfect Norwegian.  When he handed the menus to the waitress he tucked his tongue behind his teeth as he grinned at Rose and Jackie. 

Rose did not say much during the meal.  Jackie recounted her story about how she had arrived on the _Crucible_.  The Doctor’s heart lurched when she described what happened to the people when the Reality Bomb was tested.  He took a brief moment to recognize the difference now that he had only one heart.  He had always thought that was a turn of a phrase to acknowledge one’s center or soul.  But to feel the differences was something new.  The Doctor took her hand in his, “Oh, Jackie, I’m so sorry you had to be part of that.” 

Rose looked between the two and said, “Stop that.” 

Jackie and the Doctor looked at Rose and Jackie said, “What?” 

Rose said, “Stop acting like he’s _him_ , when he’s not.” 

She got up and stormed away from the table.  The Doctor made a move to follow her, but Jackie held him fast, “Let her go.” 

Jackie released his hand and freshened up their cups of tea.  “There’s somethings you need to know, Doctor.” 

It was only the second time she had called him Doctor since they arrived here, but it was the first time he really took it in:  Jackie accepted him as the Doctor. He changed seats so he was sitting next to Jackie rather than across from her.  He remained silent for once, letting her gather her thoughts.  She met his eyes, “Firstly, how do I to refer to – the ‘other you’?” 

He looked at her and smiled sheepishly, “Jackie, you didn’t have this problem when my face changed…” 

She grinned, “But this is different, there’s two of you.” 

“Were,” he corrected, “There’s only one of me here now.” 

Jackie nodded, “And you really have all the same memories and everything?” 

He nodded. 

She bit the corner of her lip, “I don’t mean to hurt you with this stuff, but I really think you need to know.” 

The Doctor nodded, “And I want to know, but if you’re not ready…” 

She shook her head, “I’m not sure it can wait.  You need to know.”

The Doctor nodded as trepidation built in his heart.  He single heart now.  He wondered briefly if this one heart could possibly hold all the experiences that two hearts had seemed to barely contain.  He smiled at Jackie, “Don’t worry about me.” 

She smiled at him, “You really are the same, aren’t you?” 

He smiled softly and nodded. 

Jackie was taking much less convincing than either Rose or himself.  They each sat in silence a couple minutes, nursing their tea.  She swallowed at the lump building in her throat, “The first time we left here, she didn’t speak for three weeks.  She barely ate or slept.  It was maddening because Pete and me thought she was finally adjusting to being here:  she was working at Torchwood and although still living with us, she was planning to get a place of her own.  She was starting to live again, though her eyes were still always sad, there was a bit of hope beginning to be mixed in.” 

Jackie took a pause, sipping her tea, “Then she heard you calling to her and we all went with her.  I was pregnant with Tony by then.” 

The Doctor nodded remembering his conversation with Rose.  A single tear slipped down his cheek.  They each took the other’s hand offering support to one another.  Jackie continued, “I could tell by the way she held herself that you had vanished unexpectedly.  But, other than crying that first day, she didn’t speak again for three weeks.” 

The Doctor tried to release Jackie’s hand, but she held fast.  He started to flinch slightly, expecting her to wallop a good one on him.  Instead, she just offered an encouraging squeeze, “I know you didn’t mean to make ‘er worse.  I know you tried to give her closure.” 

The Doctor nodded and another stray tear slipped down his cheek. 

Jackie continued, “It was three months before she could return to Torchwood.  But even then, she didn’t talk much.  Pete was so glad that she seemed to be getting on her feet again that he let her do and be involved in anything she wanted.  I don’t really understand all the stuff she was doing, but I knew she had started off just trying to get back to the proper universe.” 

The Doctor remained silent as Jackie told her story.  There was not much he could say. 

Jackie met his eyes, “Pete and Rose would talk about the ‘stars going out.’  No one seemed to know or understand what it meant or how it could happen.  But Rose, one day, her demeanor changed almost overnight.” 

He nodded, “The Dimension Cannon began to work.” 

Jackie swallowed and continued, “She had many highs and lows during the last few months.  But with the Darkness, finding you became imperative because no one else knew what to do.  But…”  Jackie paused and tears began to well in her eyes. 

The Doctor sighed, “Rose wanted to find me.  It never was about saving the universes for her.” 

Jackie nodded as the tears ran down her cheeks. 

He hugged her, “Oh, Jackie, I am so sorry.” 

“I,” she began again when she could, “I didn’t raise her to be selfish, honest.  But…” she broke off as another wave of tears interrupted. 

“Jackie,” he said soothingly, “This isn’t your fault.  She’s young and it’s not like I exactly encouraged her to grow up.” 

Jackie nodded into his shoulder as she let herself cry.  They sat like that for a few more minutes.  The Doctor realized it had been close to ninety minutes since Rose had left.  He sighed, “I should go find her.” 

Jackie looked up at him, “You won’t tell her about this, will you?” 

He smiled softly and shook his head slowly.  

Jackie offered a small smile of her own, “What are you gonna do?” 

The Doctor shrugged, “What I’ve always done:  whatever feels right at the moment.” 

Jackie almost giggled, “You plum, you’re going to go find her and you’ve got no plan?” 

His smile broadened to a grin, “It’s always worked in the past.” 

She nodded and pulled out one of the hotel keys she was carrying.  Giving it to him she said, “I’m going back.  I’m knackered.  Honestly, I don’t know how you two did it for all that time.  One trip and I’m done in!” 

He hugged her with a hint of a grin, “Ah Jackie Tyler!  It gets easier with practice.” 

She laughed, “Well, it won’t for me, because I don’t plan to have anymore practice if I can help it.” 

The Doctor laughed with her but then became serious, “I should go.” 

She hugged him again, nodding, “I’ll probably be sleeping when you get back, but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to wake me.” 

He smiled his thanks to her and she went to the till to pay for their meal before leaving.  He sat at the table a few more minutes, finishing off the last of the tea, then he got up and went to find Rose.  He had a pretty good idea where to look, but he really had no desire to return to that beach.  Rose had called that day previous the "Worst day of her life," but he knew she was clueless about what the loss of the TARDIS was doing to him.  Lost in thoughts, he shoved his hands in his pockets.  He did this partly for warmth, but also because for some reason, he thought better with them there.  He realized that he would have to go through them to find out exactly what he did and did not have with him, but he could not think about that right now.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor sensed Rose before he saw her.  He smiled to himself finding another piece of his telepathy was still in place.  He was frustrated though, because he could not see time-lines like he could in the past.  He did not know if that was because it was something that he had lost, or if it was simply something that would come into focus the more time he spent in this universe.  He remembered his trips to E-Space and he had a similar problem there.  Though, he was not sure he wanted that ability. Without the ability to travel, being able to see timelines carried little meaning.  He reflected on the brief conversation he had with the Time Lord on TARDIS as she was crossing the Void into Pete's World.  Well, by conversation, it had happened telepathically. 

He already knew what the Time Lord was planning, though he was not sure how it would all play out.  There was no way Rose would willingly stay in Pete's World and he was not too keen on the idea either.  To soften the blow, the Time Lord offered a piece of Coral.  The look on the Human-Doctor's face had to be one of disgust and shock.  It was a great gesture that the Time Lord would allow something like that of his precious TARDIS, but they both knew the Parallel Universe had the wrong energy and there was no way the coral would survive.  

He turned the Time Lord down.  The Doctor-in-Brown raised an eyebrow at the refusal, " _But why not_?" 

The human replied, " _We both know she wouldn't survive.  Please, don't make me watch her die_." 

The Time Lord nodded, " _But it might make the transition easier for you.  And who knows, perhaps being raised in that universe, she'll adapt to be able to feed off of it_." 

" _I've only got one life now_ ," was his reply, " _I wouldn't be able to offer any of my years to sustain her_." 

The human could sense the sorrow from the TARDIS knowing he was right.  He even felt a sense of regret and embarrassment from the Time Lord for even suggesting such a thing. 

“ _I am sorry.  I hadn’t thought of that_ ,” the Time Lord said genuinely. 

The human simply nodded his head; he knew it was not a completely selfless offer.  The Time Lord’s conscious would be lighter if the human had as close to “life as normal” as possible.  

The human made an offer of his own, “ _I could stay with you.  It’s been so long since you’ve had a voice in your head.  I know I’m not a full Time Lord, but…_ ” 

The Doctor-in-Brown smirked, “ _Better than nothing_?” 

The human shrugged. 

“ _You know what I’ll have to do to Donna_ ,” the Time Lord continued, “ _Do you really think you can stand by and watch that happen_?” 

The human’s gazed shifted to watch Donna.  Without her, he would not exist… to loose her would be worse than to loose Rose. 

“ _Exactly_ ,” the Time Lord broke in. 

“ _I don’t have to be in the room when you do it_ ,” the Doctor-in-Blue suggested hopefully. 

The Time Lord smiled, realizing that the human understood the weight and separation was going to be equally difficult on both of them, “ _I wouldn’t be able to fight you, if you tried to intervene_.” 

 The human knew this, of course so let the matter drop, “ _So, Rose_?” 

The Doctor-in-Brown simply nodded, “ _Rose needs to be with her family.  I’m not good for her_.” 

The human nodded, “ _Stunting her growth_.”  He gasped as he realized the fullness of what was to happen, “ _You want me to take care of her?  What if she doesn’t accept me?  What if I’m no better for her_?” 

The Time Lord wandered around the console, acting like he was making adjustments.  He rested a hand on the human’s shoulder and whispered, “You’re part-human.  You’re already better for her than I ever could be.” 

He released the shoulder and continued around the console to look at the monitor.  The human watched the Time Lord, “ _But, she’ll need a bit of encouragement._ ” 

The Doctor-in-Brown nodded, “ _I have an idea about that and if it causes you pain, I’m sorry.  Just remember no matter what I say out there, I do trust you completely_ …” 

The human smiled sadly, “ _Or you wouldn’t leave me with her_.” 

The Time Lord nodded.  It was at that time the Materialization Sequence began.


	3. Chapter 3

A sudden gust of wind carrying a spray of salt water broke him out of his reverie.  Rose was standing on the spot where the TARDIS had stood not three hours earlier.  If he looked hard enough, he could still see the faint outline of the square imprint it had left.  He sighed.  He had said to Donna of Miss Evangelista when they were at the Library, "She's a footprint on the beach and the tide's coming in...  Help her." 

The tide was in fact coming in and it would not be long before the square print was washed away.  The Doctor stopped and turned away from the sight.  He was wishing that Donna were here to help him right now.  The memories of another life (literally) and the surge of emotions he was currently experiencing proved to be too much.  He sank to his knees.  He barely noticed how they were getting damp in the wet sand.  He did not know which emotion to release first as he fell forward, his hands and arms maintaining his weight well enough that his head did not fall into the sand. 

It felt like all of his insides suddenly constricted at once and he vomited his meal all over the beach.  Thoughts of, " _Really,_ that _is disgusting!_ " flitted through his mind.  He felt better and faint at the same time.  The tide was starting to wash in around him, soaking the cuffs of his jacket and the legs of his trousers.  He reached down to scoop water into his mouth to rinse out the foul after-taste when he felt a warm hand on his arm, "No, don't drink that, it'll only make it worse," he heard a familiar female voice say. 

When he was sure he would not spew again, he slowly turned his head to where the voice came from.  Rose had taken a Kleenex out of her pocket and was wiping his mouth with it.  "Come on," she grunted as she helped him to stand, "Let's get you back to the hotel." 

He was feeling too many things, not the least of which was faint, to argue with her.  His wet clothes made this walk back a hundred times worse than the first journey had been.  Since he was unsteady on his feet, it also took a lot longer.  When they got back to the suite, Rose disappeared into the bathroom and started a hot bath.  The Doctor was in his room and was slowly removing his suit.  He had gotten his jacket off, but his fingers were shaking too much to bother with his trousers. 

Rose tapped on the door and then peeked in, "I drew a bath for you.  Do you need help getting in?" 

A part of him wanted to shout at her that he could take care of himself, but he simply shook his head.  She watched him for a couple of seconds, "Well, if you're sure?  I'm going to take a bath myself." 

He replied softly, "I'm fine." 

She nodded and left him.  He made his way over to the bathroom and was glad to find it well stocked with bath sheets and even a fluffy housecoat.  His fingers started to warm up in the higher temperature of the small room and he was able to unbutton his trousers.  When he finished undressing, he slowly lowered himself into the steaming bath water. 

It was not until the Doctor had warmed up that he realized he missed the last bits of the existence of the TARDIS being washed away.  What he would not do for a sound-proof room right now!  He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but did not want to disturb the others.  Instead, he settled on bitter tears.  He was doing his best to keep them as quiet as possible.  When he could control himself somewhat, he started to wash the dirt and grime away.  It was not until he released the water and watched it go down the drain that he realized he had washed away what was left of the other universe.  He sat on the lid of the loo and just stared as the last remnants of that universe were consumed by this one.  He sighed.  

* * *

His trousers were still soaking wet, so he slipped into the housecoat.  He looked at himself in the mirror.  There was no brush and no product to put in his hair.  He ran his fingers through the hair, trying to force it into place by sheer will, but it just flopped around lamely, looking more like "bed head" than "mad scientist."  He sighed, picked up his clothes and exited the bathroom.  He did not go directly to his bedroom; he made his rounds, checking on the occupants of the suite, as he would so often do on the TARDIS.  Just because he was not on the TARDIS anymore did not mean that all of his habits had to end.  Besides, it would give him the chance to knowingly test his level of hearing. 

He stood in front of Jackie’s door.  It was not as easy as it had been when he had been on the TARDIS.  He smirked; he really took all she did for granted.  It was such a little thing that she would help him to sense what was going on in the minds of his companions while they slept, or notify him if they were distressed with a nightmare.  Now, without her, he had no way to know for sure.  He could, however, hear the rhythmic inhale and exhale of Jackie’s breath.  He smiled realizing his keen sense of hearing seemed to be in tact.  He walked to the next door.  He could hear the sheets rustling as Rose tried to get comfortable in a strange bed.  He recalled how she always had a hard time sleeping in a new place the first day.  He thought about knocking on the door to check on her, but stopped himself.  This was not his home and he suddenly questioned if his concern would be as welcomed as it had been in the past. 

The hand the Doctor had risen when he thought about knocking fell lax at his side.  He sighed, shook his head and made his way back to his bedroom.  He draped his clothes out, hoping they would be dry enough when he might need them again.  Then realized the pockets would never get dry enough if he did not empty them.  So, he took his trousers and jacket to the bed, dumped the contents of all the pockets and hung the clothes back up to dry.  He brushed his fingers lightly over the messy pile of random objects strewn across his bed. 

He picked up his brainy-specs first and he smiled fondly as he considered all the times he's used them.  He would say he did not need them, but much like putting his hands in his pockets, they did help him think.  He put them on and began to examine the contents on the bed more closely.  His hand brushed against a wallet-like item:  one with psychic paper in it.  His hands brushed against something long, thin and metallic.  He sighed when he realized it was one of his mini torches.  He tested it and was pleased to find that it worked.  Then he saw it:  his sonic.  It was an older model, well, not exactly older.  Just one he had not tinkered with in awhile.  Looking over it, he noticed, this one had some of the upgrades he had performed since his adventures with Donna. 

The Doctor sighed heavily, “Oh, Donna.” 

He glanced out the window, it was getting dark already.  This far North, it would.  He saw the first glimmers of planets.  He wondered if the Time Lord had already wiped her memories. He tried to blink back tears as his heart sank.  They would never forget her, while she could never remember.  He had to again fight the urge to scream at the top of his lungs.  He sighed and forced himself to turn from the window.  Going down that road would be pointless.  Someday he will deal with it, but not right now.  He sat back down on the bed.  

He looked over the sonic and wondered if he could get any parts to perform the upgrades he had planned since the visit to the Library.  He sighed and shook his head, letting the screwdriver fall gently onto the bed.  His eyes glanced over the other items:  a marker, a pen and pad of paper, his stethoscope.  He released a, "Ha!" 

The Time Lord will go crazy when he realizes his one stethoscope had been left in the blue suit.  He picked up a burnt toy mouse.  He had used it several times on Messaline.  His heart ached when he thought of Jenny.  He tried to shake the sadness off… That’s when he saw it: one of his TARDIS keys. 

He hesitantly reached out to pick it up.  Then he noticed how badly his hand was shaking.  He snatched his hand back, holding it close to his chest with his other hand.  He tried to control his breathing.  He did not bother to go through the rest of the items.  Seeing the key made him loose heart.  He moved all the other items off the bed and onto the nearby desk.  He turned back to face the bed.  The silver key stood out against the dark design of the duvet.  He stared at the key and for a brief moment he felt like the key was staring back at him. 

He heard a voice at the back of his head similar to the one he heard when he was standing over the Satan Pit, “Go on!  Go on, go on, go on, go on…”  That is when he realized he was more afraid of touching that key than he had been of going into the Pit.  He began to question himself, “ _Is this a human reaction?  Is this normal to be terrified of the emotions that simply touching the key might unleash?  Or is this something more?  This could be the last bit of hope tying me to the other universe… and whatever reaction I get from the key… well, could smash that hope to smithereens.  Am I ready to be that hopeless?_ ” 

* * *

The Doctor lay down on the bed, curling his body so that a safe gap was kept between himself and the key.  He clasped his hands together and tucked them under his chin.  He just stared at the key, a part of him desperate to touch it and a part of him horrified of what he would or would not discover by touching it.  The two sides warring within him became too much and he began to weep again.  This time, the tears showed no sign of stopping. 

He was so wrapped up in his emotions that he did not hear the door creak open.  He was faced away from the door, so he did not realize that someone was walking into his room.  It was not until he felt the bed sink under more weight and a hand caress his hair soothingly that he realized he was not alone.  He tried to move away, but the hand held his head in place, “Sh-sh-sh, It’s okay, dear.” 

He recognized the voice, it was not Rose’s.  He croaked out, “I want to be alone.” 

Jackie replied, “Tough ‘cause I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” 

He sighed through his tears trying to allow the comfort that Jackie was offering to wash over him.  

When the Doctor had calmed enough that she thought he would hear her over his sorrow, Jackie spoke.  “I’m not gonna pretend to know what you’re goin’ through.  But I want you to know I’ll help in anyway I can.” 

He sighed trying to gain control of his voice, “You lost your universe too, Jackie, I think you have an idea of what I’m going through.” 

“No, Doctor, I don’t," she spoke quietly, "When I came 'ere, I was given a life.  I was given a second chance to have all the things I didn’t have the first time 'round.” 

She forced him to look at her, “In fact, I never got the chance to say,” she paused looking deep into his eyes, “Thank you.” 

She paused again, to make sure he had heard her, “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have nothing.  I wouldn’t even have Rose.”  

He huffed turning away from her, “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have had a need to be here.” 

She hit him on his arm.  Not so much to cause pain, just enough to get his attention, “What?  You’d rather if I was dead?  Because we both know that’s what would’ve happened.” 

He shrugged. 

She sighed, “I’m not gonna pretend to understand what you’re goin’ through because I gained so much by coming ‘ere.  And you…”  She paused, her eye catching the random items on the desk, “You’ve lost everything.” 

He looked at her incredulously, “Jackie…”

She looked at him, smiling faintly, “Ya, Doctor?” 

His dark eyes penetrated her light ones, “Your bedside manner stinks.”  

They both gasped in shock.  Jackie was shocked because though rude, the Doctor had never quite been rude like this before.  The Doctor was shocked because rarely did he say things the way he thought them.  Usually there was a bit (sometimes more than others) of filtering that went on.  They each caught the look of shock in the other’s eyes.  “Sorry,” he mumbled, “Did I say stinks?  I meant to say sweet.  But it came out stinks.” 

A compassionate look returned to Jackie’s expression, “’S alright.  I suppose you don’t need remindin’.  But, you don’t have to go through it alone.” 

At that point the key caught her attention.  She reached out to it.  Thinking the Doctor had missed it, she was going to pick it up and put it on the desk with the other items for him. 

As soon as her hand crossed his body towards the key, he reached out and grabbed her hand forcefully.  “Don’t,” the Doctor spoke quietly, if somewhat dangerously. He was staring at how close their hands were to the key, “Just don’t.” 

She let her hand fall somewhat lax in his so he would know she wouldn’t touch the key, “I didn’t know you left it there on purpose, sorry.” 

He nodded and let her hand go as another flood of emotions hit him.  She wrapped her arms around him holding him as she had so often held Rose in those first few months they were here.  She realized she had never seen him look so… small and frail.  She supposed even Time Lords get upset about things sometimes.

“Part,” his voice croaked breaking Jackie’s thoughts. 

“What dear,” she asked quietly. 

He sighed, “I’m only part Time Lord now.” 

She looked down at him, “How did you…” 

His eyes went large as he realized what happened, “Oh Jackie, I’m sorry!  I shouldn’t have… It’s just harder with all this other noise going on.” 

Jackie's brow wrinkled in confusion.  The Doctor turned slightly to look at her better, “I’m telepathic,” he said almost apologetically.  “I can read people’s minds, hear their thoughts.  Its strongest when there’s some form of physical contact or when the emotions linked with the thoughts are especially strong.”  

Jackie nodded, “And you just do it… I mean without people’s permission?” 

The Doctor looked at her and she could see the regret in his eyes, “Not as a general rule.  Actually, as a general rule, I tend to block it out…  But right now…” he broke off. 

She smiled softly at him as she stroked his hair, “You’ve got too many other things going on inside you.” 

He nodded closing his eyes. 

She hugged him just a bit tighter and whispered, “Then, I forgive you.” 

Those three words made his heart constrict again.  They were words he so often longed to hear and rarely did.  He started to cry again.  After a time he cried himself to exhaustion and finally to sleep.  Jackie stayed with him until she was certain he was sleeping, then carefully extracted herself and left him.  She smiled as he barely stirred, pleased that the tactic that worked so well with Tony would work with a 900-plus-year-old alien.

* * *

The Doctor woke three hours twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds later.  He did not yet know if that was going to be a long time or short time for him to sleep.  He noticed the clock on the bedside table, it was half-six in the evening.  So, his sense of time was in tact, but he was not sure if his sense of Earth Time was... this was something else he would have to test.  He went over to his suit, it was still soaking wet.  He was debating what to do when he noticed a bag by the door.  He peeked inside and noticed it contained clothes.  He set them out on the bed:  A plain white pull-over, pants, socks, dark grey fleece trousers and matching top, a pair of trainers and a small toiletry kit.  He sighed, it was not his suit, but it was dry and would keep him warm.  He smiled.  _Someone_ was taking care of him.  It was a nice change, he reflected.

After he was dressed, he took the bag and put the items sitting on the desk into it.  He put his brainy-specs in one of the pockets of the fleece top and his sonic in the other.  He turned to face the bed.  The key was still sitting there.  He sighed, he could not keep putting it off and it would be better to do it now while he saw it as one of many objects, rather than _the_ object.  He reached out, his hand shaking, though not nearly as bad as earlier.  He picked it up and before he could completely acknowledge what he did or did not feel, it dropped it into the bag with the other belongings. 

He set the bag on the desk and sat on the bed, staring at it.  All of his belongings from ten lives and over 900 years were now contained in that small plastic bag.  " _It's not even bigger on the inside,_ " he thought to himself. He sighed while scrubbing his hair with his hand.  He slowly walked over to the door and put his hand on the knob, debating if he was ready to face the Tyler women again or not.  He was about to go with the courage and turn the knob when there was a quiet tap at the door.

He sighed, turned the knob and opened the door.  He did not know if he felt relief or anxiety that he saw Jackie's blue eyes rather than Rose's brown ones.  Jackie smiled, "You found 'em.  I hope they fit alright.  I would've gotten you somethin' else, but didn't know your size.  We can get you whatever you like when we're back in London." 

He smiled at her, "These are fine, thank you, Jackie." 

She smiled again, "Well, I noticed your suit was sopping wet and... Anyway... How long have you been up? Feeling better?" 

He replied, "A bit." 

Not really answering either question, but perhaps answering both. 

She smiled softly, "Rose and I were about to order up a late dinner, do you fancy anything?" 

His hand went instinctively to his stomach, realizing that because of what happened earlier, it was quite empty.  He grinned and nodded, "I'll eat whatever you order." 

She nodded, "Right, then, I'll call it in.  Wanna come out and join us?" 

"Want" would not be the word he would use, but he did feel obligated since they were providing him with all the things needed for a comfortable survival in this universe.  He did not trust his voice, so simply nodded and followed her out.

Rose was sitting at the small table nursing a mug.  Jackie went over to the phone to order room service and the Doctor stood there for a moment just taking everything in.  He got a mug of his own, found some instant cocoa and added the hot water.  He debated between joining Rose at the table and sitting on the couch.  After a brief hesitation, he opted for sitting at the table.  He gestured to the chair and raised his eyebrow asking for Rose's permission.  When she looked up at him, she began to giggle, almost hysterically. 

The Doctor's face fell, "What?"  

Rose shook her head trying to control her giggles and failing miserably. 

"What?" he asked again, now debating if he should go sit on the couch by himself. 

Rose was still giggling and used her hands to gesture that he should sit. 

He asked a third time, "What?" 

Rose was calm enough to speak, "Your clothes." 

He cocked his head and looked over himself, "What's wrong with 'em?" 

She finally spoke coherently, "Well, it's not you're typical suit, now is it?" 

"Oi!" he responded with a touch of Donna's speech pattern, "I'll have you know that I used to wear crickety-cricket stuff, back in the day.  And a vegetable!  I say this is a marked improvement."  

Rose's jaw dropped, "A vegetable?" 

The Doctor sipped his cocoa and nodded, "Stick of celery, to be precise." 

"Y-you," Rose did not understand what he was saying, "You wore a stick of celery?  What?  Like a lapel pin?" 

"Precisely," the Doctor grinned.  "Though," he continued, "It was for important reasons." 

Rose raised a questioning eyebrow. 

He smiled, "Celery sometimes turns purple in the presence of certain gases in the 'Praxis' range... I was allergic to them in that incarnation." 

Rose stifled a resurgence of her giggles. 

The Doctor's gaze became reflective and his voice softened a bit, "Nice to hear you laugh, Rose."


	4. Chapter 4

" _Nice to hear you laugh_..." what the heck was he saying?  Well, sure it was nice to hear her laugh.  But talking like that was not going to make things any easier.  His gaze drifted over to Jackie who was curled up on the sofa with a book.  He needed to talk to Rose about things - about everything, but he could not bring himself to do that with Jackie sitting right there.  His stomach grumbled and he caught a smile crossing Rose's features.  

He was never going to be able to live down his human attributes now.  It was at that point that he realized that Rose had not called him Doctor, since referring to him as "New Doctor" when they had stood on the beach.  That was okay.  She was smiling and he was firm believer that the shortest distance between two creatures was a smile.  If she could smile at him and with him, then perhaps they would be able to talk about the important things that needed discussing.

A knock at the door and Jackie's sudden movement broke him out of his thoughts.  They all helped to lay the food out on the small table.  There really was not room, but they managed.  There was an uncomfortable silence as the meal began and it started to grate on his nerves.  "So," he began, "Tell me about Pete's World." 

Jackie and Rose exchanged looks, it seemed that neither knew where to start. 

He laughed nervously, "Well, I don't need to know everything, but I guess it would be good to know where things stand now."  

Rose looked at him, "You'll see soon enough." 

The uneasy quiet resettled on the trio.  "Cards," Jackie exclaimed suddenly. 

The Doctor and Rose looked over at her and at the same time said, "What?" Jackie shrugged, "When we're done eating, we should play around of cards, if you're up to it." 

The Doctor would have preferred a round of chess, but chess was a two-person game and he did not see a board around anyway.  Maybe they did not even have chess in this universe.  Oh, that would be a tragedy! 

"You okay?" Rose's voice broke in to his thoughts. 

"I'm fine," he mumbled. 

He was fine, of course he was...  So he was dumped off in the middle of strange universe he had only visited once, with two women he barley knew, he had been in worse situations.  Then a smile started to tug at the corner of his lips as he thought about the last time they were here, "So, what happened to Rose?" 

Jackie cocked her head, "She's right 'ere, you fool, ask her yourself." 

The Doctor shook his head, "No, Pete's Rose." 

Rose perked up, "I **am** Pete's Rose and he did adopt me." 

A broad smile was plastered on his face now, "No, I mean... _Rose,_ their cute little doggy." 

Rose flushed with anger, oh he knew it was a sore spot, but he just couldn't resist.  Rose tried to calm herself, "You could ask us about anything... anything you remember about those days and you ask about the dog???" 

The Doctor shrugged, "I happen to like Yorkies." 

Rose stared at him indignantly, "Since when?" 

Jackie got up and cleared the table, knowing these two didn't need her around.  The Doctor replied, "Since always, it's not like I had some run-in with a dog without you and suddenly developed a liking for them."  

He could see Rose's anger bellowing up, if he could just press the right button...  She stared at him speechless, so he continued calm as can be, "Honestly, Rose, I don't know why you're so upset.  She was a cute dog and little.  She could've probably escaped the Cybermen with no problem.  I'm just curious how she turned out." 

Rose stared him down, "You... You can be... just... so..." 

He smiled innocently, "Yes?" 

Rose let out an exasperated cry as she stood.  Staring him down she said, "Good night, **_Doctor_**!"  

With that, the Doctor's face absolutely lit up.  The joy he felt at hearing her say his name, even in anger, could not be squelched.  Then he started laughing - hysterical giggles that showed no sign of stopping.  Rose stared at him as if he had gone completely mad.  She did not realize what she had said, which made the whole thing that much funnier to him.  Rose stared at him indignantly for another few moments and when he showed no sign of stopping, she went off to her room.  The Doctor's laughter rang out for another full three minutes before he could get it under control. 

When the Doctor could finally control himself, he went to knock on Rose's door.  He knew she was furious, but it was because she did not understand.  What he called himself was at least as important as his voice - it was one of those things his experience on Midnight had taught him.  When Rose did not answer, he tried the door knob.  It was not locked, so he slowly opened the door, just a crack, "Rose?" he spoke softly. 

He heard a gruff sigh in reply.  He took that as permission to enter.  He closed the door behind him and quietly padded over to her bed. 

Rose was huddled on the bed, lying on one pillow while clenching another to her chest.  Her face was red and streaked with the angry tears she had been crying.  He approached her slowly, afraid of her wrath.  He gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, near her feet.  He lightly rested a hand on her calf, it was a gesture he had often done when she had been upset about something or another.  He felt the surge of energy as her entire body tensed at his touch, but she did not flinch away.  He did not remove his hand; he left it in place, waiting until she was ready. 

* * *

When Rose finally spoke, she did not look at him, "Your hand's warmer." 

He said nothing, letting her keep control of the conversation this time.  She sat up and he allowed his hand to slide off her leg.  He kept his hands lax in his lap, just staring at them.  She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees, "No snappy come-back this time?" 

Without looking at her, he spoke quietly, "What do you want from me?" 

There was no anger, no sorrow, it was just a question.  He could tell Rose shrugged, not because he saw it, but because of the vibrations he felt through the bed.  He was pleased since, that sense seemed to still be full in tact as well.  He did not show it, he knew that would only add to Rose's anger. 

He sighed lightly, "Some things have changed.  Yes, I have a human body so I only have one heart, my body temperature is higher and if I get hurt I have to heal the slow way.  But Rose, everything else: my personality, my memories, my thoughts, my feelings… All those underlying things that make me, me, are the same… well, mostly the same, I admit there's a bit of Donna thrown in and she was rude _and_ ginger." 

He took a chance to glance at her hoping for any hint of a smile.  All he got was a sigh.  He continued softly, "It's a lot to take in.  But, when you're ready, I'd be more than happy to talk about it with you." 

The Doctor made to leave and she stopped him with a question, "Why did you ask about one thing that hurt me so much when we were here last time?" 

He paused, "You know me, anything to get a response." 

"But," she began, "I'd be willing to answer anything you asked." 

He turned back to face her, nothing but compassion in his eyes, "Rose, the questions I have…  You've already made it clear you're not ready for them." 

There was a spark of anger again, "Why? Because I'm a stupid ape?" 

He smirked sadly, "No, because you…," he faltered, "Because you don't even know why I started to laugh so hard.  And until you understand that, we're...  Well, until you understand that, you're not ready." 

Rose nodded her head; it is not like he was giving her much of a choice in the matter.  He swallowed and started to leave.  He paused as he opened the door, "But Rose?" 

She raised her head to look at him, "Yeah?" 

"When you are ready," he continued, "We'll talk about it." 

With that, he left the room.  He did not want to say, "I'll wait until you're ready" or "I'll be waiting for you."  Those phrases felt too much like promising and right now, he was in no condition to make any promises.  Just as she was in no place to receive them.  It was for the best to leave it this way for now.

He returned to his room debating how long it would take Rose to figure out that all he really needed right now was for her to call him "Doctor."  If she could simply acknowledge who he is, so many things would fall into place.  He knew it was a lot to expect of her this early, but without it, there would be no way for them to continue.  It was not until he sat down on his bed that he realized that Rose had said, “Last time _we_ were here.”  He was not about to get his hopes set too high, but it was another encouraging sign.  She had not spoken it when she was angry, though her emotional state might have had her defenses down. 

The Doctor glanced around the room.  He took out his sonic screwdriver and looked over the settings.  He picked one and aimed the sonic at the light.  He turned his sonic on and the light turned off.  He pressed the button again and the light came back on.  He had been doing this mindlessly for two minutes forty-two point sixteen seconds, when he was distracted by a knock at the door.  He softly spoke, "Come in." 

He heard the door handle jiggle and realized it was locked.  He changed the setting on the sonic, aimed it at the door and unlocked it.  He smiled secretly to himself, that action felt the most like himself in all the time he had been… well him.  The door creaked open and Rose entered, albeit a bit hesitantly.  

Rose stopped before she got too close to the bed.  She had a half-smile, "Are you going to do that all night?" 

He said nothing, but raised an eyebrow.  She gestured, "The sonic.  I can hear it clear over in my room, what are you doing?" 

He shrugged.  "I was bored?" he offered sheepishly. 

Her half-smile became a smirk.  He offered her a smile, "Sorry if I'm keeping you up.  I could turn the sound off.... But then..." 

Her smirk became a full smile, "It wouldn't be sonic?" 

He shrugged.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose was still leaning against the door jamb.  They were silent for a few minutes, the Doctor focusing his attention on his sonic and Rose staring at him.  The Doctor finally looked at her, "Right, in or out, you standing there staring at me is getting a little creepy."  He paused, "Creepy?  Did I just say creepy?  Must be Donna." 

He grinned broadly, but Rose just continued to stare at him.  After sixty-six point seven – two seconds, Rose pushed herself off the frame, entered the room and closed the door.  The Doctor shifted over on the bed to give her a place to sit, but she pulled the desk chair out and sat in it.  

She sighed before she began to speak, “You’re bored already.” 

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. 

She continued, “Look at you.  You’re so bored that you’re playing with the lights.” 

He turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, “Well, Rose, with my wet clothes, the cold outside and current lack of transportation…  My options are fairly limited.” 

Rose started to play with her fingernails, “Would you know if there were others?” 

He cocked his head, “'Know if there were others?'” 

She shrugged, “You know, Time Lords.  If there were any in this universe, would you know?” 

The Doctor sighed and returned to lying on his back.  The last thing he wanted to discuss right now was the Time War.  He closed his eyes, hopping if she thought he fell asleep that she might go away.  Or maybe he was just wishing that she would. 

Rose prompted, “Well?” 

He did not open his eyes, “Is there some part of ‘ _Last of_ the Time Lords’ that you don’t understand?” 

He squeezed his eyes tighter in a wince:  that had come out more harshly than he had intended.  Rose huffed in reply.  “We looked for signs,” she said after a time, “We looked for energy signatures, everything.  Even if there aren’t Time Lords, is it possible for there to be TARDISs?” 

The Doctor sighed, “Even if there were, which is doubtful, since they all died with the Time Lords, we would have no way of getting to them.” 

It was Rose’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “We could adapt the Dimension Cannon.” 

“No,” came the Doctor’s simple reply. 

Rose looked at him, “Of course we can.  I mean, it’s like we did with Donna, we can adapt it to search through time and space in this universe.” 

The Doctor repeated, “No, it’s too dangerous.  And with the retro-closure complete, the cannon probably won’t work anyway.” 

Rose’s voice had a hint of hope, “Probably?” 

At that, the Doctor sat up and stared at Rose, “It doesn’t matter, it needs to be dismantled.” 

Rose stood, “You wouldn’t dare!” 

The Doctor remained sitting but looked coldly at her, “Rose, it’s too dangerous.  If you tried to use it now, even to travel in this universe, you risk fracturing everything.  As before, both universes would be lost.” 

Rose’s gaze turned cold, “So?” 

The Doctor was aghast, when she had said that last time; he thought it was out of her sorrow.  Now, it seemed it was out of honestly not caring what happened to the universes. He met her eyes and slowly stood, now towering over her.  He spoke with a deadly calm, “What’s happened to you?  You think I’ve changed so much just because I’m human… What have you changed into?” 

It was a bit of role reversal and he thought about his encounter with the Dalek deep underground in Utah in 2012.  Rose’s eyes had gone wide, but she said nothing.  The Doctor scoffed, now letting his anger bubble to the surface, “Well, Rose Tyler?  I’m waiting.” 

She returned his gaze, “I owe you nothing.” 

Suddenly, everything became crystal clear to the Doctor and he laughed.  It was a heartless and cruel laugh, filled with irony.  He continued to hold Rose’s attention as he went silent.  Finally he spoke again, “I wasn’t left here because I was dangerous.  I was left here because _you_ are!” 

Rose’s jaw dropped slightly and her lower lip quivered almost imperceptivity.  The Doctor could not decide if that was out of fear or anger.  He continued, “I thought you had learned.  But, now I see.  You’ve learned nothing!  You are lucky the Shadow Proclamation knows nothing about the device you developed.” 

Rose stood her ground, “The Shadow Proclamation holds no jurisdiction here.  You yourself even said that travel between parallel worlds is impossible.” 

The Doctor shook his head in disbelief, “Be careful, Rose, you have no idea what you’re saying.  The Shadow Proclamation came into existence after the Time War.  Since the Time Lords were not around to watch over time and space, the Proclamation was set up so that the Universe wouldn’t fall into utter chaos.  If they need to find a way to get here to protect the universes, believe me, they will!”  He drove the final nail home, “And if I – _we_ have to help them… we will!  Don’t think that knowing us will bring you any amount of protection!” 

Rose continued to stare at him.  Finally she collected herself enough to walk out and return to her room.  When Rose had gone, the Doctor realized his hearts –his **heart** _singular_ \- was racing.  To his recollection, Rose had never quite angered him like this before.  Of course, it could be a result of being human.  He just seemed to feel everything more than he used to.  As he slumped back onto the bed, he was not sure he wanted to return to the Tyler’s.  He knew for sure he did not want to be dependent on them.  Suddenly, everything seemed to catch up with him:  the regeneration, the slaughtering of the Daleks, being separated from the TARDIS, everything Jackie had told him and what had just happened with Rose.  He lay down and tried to calm himself so he could rest.  He was not tired, but he knew that his sudden change of attitude was indicative of something else… 

* * *

The Doctor woke several hours later... at lest he was thinking it was several hours later.  He had a splitting headache and felt a bit confused, so he could not be sure.  Suddenly, fear raced through him.  He started to wonder if it had all been a delayed reaction and now that he was in this universe; all the Time Lord talents he had discovered earlier were going to dissipate.  He got up to use the loo, but standing made the headache worse and he became dizzy.   He could not control his body and the last thing he saw was the world spinning around him before darkness embraced him. 

From somewhere far away he heard a vaguely familiar voice, "It could be like last time." 

A second voice, seemingly agitated said, "He's not a Time Lord, Mum!" 

The first voice replied, "Even so, if he was just born yesterday, he's bound to be going through something." 

He felt something cool and damp on his head and slid back into unconsciousness.  

He gained some awareness again sometime later.   This was to the feeling of his body being carried and not well.  He had a flash-back to Midnight and tried to wiggle free, finding he was unable to move.  Again, he heard a voice coming from some great distance, "Its okay, sweetheart, we're only moving you to the zeppelin to take you home." 

The voice itself, more than the words, had a calming effect on him and he again slipped below awareness.  There was a welcoming sense within the blackness. 

Out of the darkness the first thing he experienced was voices.  They were speaking in hushed tones and they were so far away he could not make out what they were saying.  Then there was silence.  He tried to move, but could not.  He did not think he was tied down rather he simply lacked the ability to move.  He decided to start with something small and automatic, so he inhaled.  Good!  He could breathe.  He held his breath.  His respiratory bypass did not kick in.  That was not unheard of, even if it was a bit disconcerting.  Rather than trying to move whole limbs, he wiggled his fingers then toes.  They seemed okay.   But they felt heavy.  It was a bit laborious for him to move them.  He inhaled again.  That seemed quite comfortable; maybe he should just stick to breathing. 

No!  He was a do-er and he had to get up and figure out what was going on.  He tried to open his eyes.  It felt like weights were attached to his eyelashes as he tried to raise his lids.  When he finally got them lifted a bit, he quickly squeezed them shut again.  The light was much too bright.  He sent a thought to his beloved TARDIS, " _Lower the lights_."  He again tried to open his eyes and was again met with the blinding light.  He was starting to get frustrated that his Old Girl would be ignoring him.  He sighed in growing frustration and tried to open his eyes a third time.  This time, he forced himself to keep them open against the bright light. 

The Doctor was then able to take in his surroundings.  He was in a large, but sparsely furnished room.  Well, sparsely is relative, all the furnishings were massive in scale, even if there were only a few items.  One glance around and he knew he was not in the TARDIS, but then, where was he?  The bright light he had seen was sunlight drifting in from the huge windows in the room.  He stuck out his tongue and tasted the sheet - Egyptian Cotton, at least 1200 thread-count by the feel of it.  That meant he was on Earth, late Twentieth, early Twenty-First Century, more than likely.  Actually, the bedding was quite comfortable.  Of course, it would be more comfortable if he knew where he was and why he was not on the TARDIS. 

He slowly began to move his arms out from underneath the covers, finally pushing them away.  He sat up slowly and realized he had to use the loo.  He looked around the room and saw a door standing wide open that led to the en-suite.    He washed his hands when he was through and looked at himself in the mirror.  He looked - dreadful.  His hair was limp and matted, he had at least several days worth of facial hair growth, his eyes were sunken in, his cheekbones stood out as if he had not eaten and his skin was paler than usual.  He sighed and dried his hands on a towel.  It was then that he had a flash of a memory, he was wearing his blue suit and was running while aiming a gun at... Davros! 

The Doctor panicked.  He ran back into the bedroom and opened the opposite door.  As he was about to tear down the hallway, he nearly knocked over none other than Rose Tyler!  He grinned like an idiot and gave her a bone crushing hug.  "Rose!" he exclaimed. 

She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes, "You're up." 

Somewhere between her attempted smile and the tone of her voice, all the memories came rushing back to him.  He released her and his hand went to the back of his neck, scratching it nervously, "Something tells me we're not in Norway anymore." 

He paused and slowly met her eyes, "Regeneration Sickness." 

It was half-way between a statement and a question.  Rose sighed but did not meet his eyes, "That's what mum thought."  

He looked her over, "And what about you?  What do you think, Rose Tyler?"  

She shrugged, but answered, "I think you need to freshen up.  Did you find the en suite?" He nodded in reply and she continued, "Well, we've put together towels and toiletry items, so you should have everything you need for a shower.  We had your suit and that jogging set mum bought cleaned.  Oh, and your bag is sitting on the floor of the wardrobe.  You should have enough time before brunch." She paused before she mumbled, "We eat as a family on Sundays." 

The Doctor got the distinct impression Rose was trying to get rid of him.  He smiled softly, "Well, then I wouldn't want to keep everyone waiting." 

He turned to go back to his room, a part of him hoping Rose would stop him by saying his name.  But, he heard her footsteps going in another direction down the hallway.  He found everything as Rose had told him and he set to work getting cleaned up.  If it was Sunday, that meant it had been four days since they had landed in Norway.  As he passed the window, he caught a glimpse of a zeppelin.  He was secretly glad that he had been unconscious for that part of the trip.  

Once he had a hot shower, he started to feel much more himself.  He found a razor and shaving cream and was delighted to see some hair gel.  When that was complete, he looked in the mirror again.  He still was quite pale and his face was still drawn, but with the shower, shave and his hair done, he looked very much like himself.  With the towel wrapped around his hips, he wandered back into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe. He did not want to hurt Rose, so he first was going to put on the sweats, but then recalled that Rose had said it was a "family meal" and he figured something more formal should be worn.  

He touched his blue suit, half expecting it to feel different, since Rose had said they cleaned it.  To his delight it felt the same.  He found his trainers as well and once he was dressed he looked at himself a final time in the mirror.  He sighed with relief.  This was how he remembered himself.  It was all going to be just fine.  After all, it was Sunday Brunch with Rose and Jackie, how bad can it be.  But, he caught a flash of concern in his reflection's face.  No, it was not just Rose and Jackie... Pete and Tony would be there as well.  He suddenly was not feeling very hungry.


	6. Chapter 6

The Doctor forced himself to change into his suit.  Hanging in the wardrobe were several dress shirts and a few ties.  Not really his style, but the darker maroon shirt would pick out the pinstripes in his blue suit quite nicely.  He shook his head: _that must be Donna_!  He pulled the shirt out, but decided that a tie might be too formal.  He smiled to himself as he dressed.  He figured Jackie had picked up the items, since Rose seemed to be less than interested in him.

He dug through his bag and retrieved the items that would make him feel most at home in his suit:  the sonic, the psychic paper, the stethoscope and his brainy-specs.  He looked at himself in the mirror and thought, " _Not bad_." 

He thought back to the day he had wandered through the TARDIS wardrobe and picked out his look for this incarnation.  A part of him thought he would want to pick out yet another look for himself.  But he had that opportunity.  When the TARDIS began to repair herself after being in the Heart of the _Crucible_ , he had gone to put some clothes on.  He could have changed then, the only thing he did was forego a dress shirt.  He wanted to be a little more casual.  Which also may have been Donna's influence:  she always seemed to wear comfortable clothes and yet always looked smashing.

He left his jacket unbuttoned, which added to his casual appearance.  He also undid the third top button of his shirt.  Then, he approached his door and hesitated as he rested his hand on the knob.  He took a breath to steel his nerves and opened the door.  He found himself in the hallway and debated which way to go.  He heard voices coming from the left and hoped that would be the way to the kitchen.  As he continued, the voices were getting louder, so he figured he was on the right track.  He walked down the stairs and found himself in the kitchen.

Massive would be an understatement, but he could see Jackie's (the Jackie of his universe, he reminded himself) influence all over the place.  There was a back part of the kitchen which housed a family room area and to the left of that was where the kitchen table was located.  That part of the kitchen jutted out a bit, so even though it was all the same room, it felt like there were three different rooms.  All three Tyler's were already seated at the table and he suddenly became very nervous.  Jackie noticed him first, "Well, come on, you're not a stranger, so don't act all scared." 

He offered a small smile and moved toward the chair Jackie had gestured. Before he got too close, Pete stood and offered his hand, "Please let me formally welcome you, Doctor." 

Pete paused, "Um, I can call you 'Doctor', right?" 

The Doctor smiled, "Course you can, Pete!  It is my name.  Well, not my proper name, but there's only one time I would be able to share that and I'm not sure you would be able to pronounce it correctly anyway.  But, it's the name I'm known as." 

He flashed a smile, but it was overly exaggerated.  Pete simply nodded, slightly confused and he heard Rose sigh loudly.  "Do-tor," a small and young voice spoke. 

The Doctor turned around to see the youngest Tyler sitting in a booster seat. He smiled warmly at the child, "And you must be Tony," he said brightly. 

Tony grinned up at him while nodding.  The Doctor knew that this universe ran ahead of the other one, but what had only been two years for him, appeared to be at least four for this one.  The Doctor ruffled Tony's hair and said, "And how old are you, Tony?" 

He took his place next to the youngster as Tony answered, "Four" while holding up four fingers. 

The Doctor thought to himself, " _Close to five years, then._ " 

The Doctor grinned and replied, "And such a big four-year old, too!" 

He then turned his attention to the person sitting across from him, "Good afternoon, Rose," he offered a smile. 

Rose nodded absently.  "Ro-oose!  You're supposed to say, 'Thank you' or 'Same to you' or somefin'," Tony admonished. 

Jackie and Pete sniggered.  The Doctor did not want to get on Rose's bad side, so said nothing.  Rose looked at Tony and sighed, "You're right." 

She turned to the Doctor and said, "Thank you." 

It came out flatly, but Tony praised, "That's better!" 

Pete and Jackie could not control their giggles and even the Doctor could not resist a smile as he nodded.  When she could control herself, Jackie said, "Well, don't be shy.  We've all dished up, help yourself." 

He started to fill his plate and realized he was quite hungry.  Once he thought he had enough food, he tucked in and the table became very, very quiet.  Tony thankfully broke the silence, "You eat like you sleep." 

The Doctor turned to him and raised an eyebrow, "Really?  How's that?" 

Tony giggled as he replied, "Lots!" 

The Doctor smiled, "Well, I don’t normally.  I had a busy day, so needed to catch up on sleep." 

Tony's eyes got big, "Is that what happens to you when you miss your naps?" 

The Doctor turned to Tony with as serious face as he could muster in the face of a questioning four-year-old, "Yep!"  He even popped his 'p', which seemed right for the occasion. 

Tony's eyes got bigger, "Mum?  Can I be done now?" 

Jackie looked confused at her son, "I thought you were very hungry Tony, why do you want to be done?" 

Tony said, "Because I want to make sure to get my nap… I don't ever want to sleep that much at once!" 

The Doctor laughed and Jackie smiled at him thinking he might be a very good influence on her young son.  Jackie replied, "How about this:  I'll remind you to take your naps, then you don't need to worry about remembering." 

Tony's face nearly split with a bright smile, "Okay!" 

Jackie looked at the Doctor, winked and mouthed, "Thank you." 

The Doctor was not sure what he had done, but was very glad to be in Jackie's good graces considering everything that has happened.

* * *

After lunch was over, Rose left the kitchen to play with Tony and the Doctor and Pete helped Jackie clear the table.  When Jackie started to work on the dishes she shooed them out of the kitchen, explaining they were only getting in the way.  Pete invited the Doctor into his study, once they were both seated comfortably, Pete began, "I don't want to overwhelm you.  But I think there are some things you need to think about as you start your life here.  But, first things first:  I've gotten what I could from Jackie and Rose about how you ended up here, but I'd like to hear it from you.  And if you don't mind, if you could explain about anything you know leading up to Rose finding you, I'd appreciate it." 

The Doctor spent the next few hours explaining how he was traveling with Donna, what had happened in Shen-Shen and everything that happened on the _Crucible_.  Pete listened expertly and only asked clarifying questions.  The Doctor then explained about the meta-crisis, being left on the beach and Regeneration Sickness.  After that, both men were quiet for a long time.  Pete finally stood and said, "I think I need a drink." 

He went to a tray that was sitting behind his desk and poured himself a bit of Scotch, "Do you want any?" 

The Doctor shook his head, "Thank you, no.  I'm still getting used to this human body and I don't know how it might react to it." 

Pete nodded while smiling and returned to his seat with his drink. He finished his drink in silence and the Doctor waited, not too patiently, for him.  Finally, Pete said, "You know that you have some decisions to make about the kind of life you would like to lead here.  I want you to know that if there's anything I can do to help you, I will.  You are welcome to stay here as long or as short as you want.  Finally, this isn't charity.  With all you've done for our univer - for **all** universes, it's the least we can do.  I know you've lost everything.  You've lost more than the rest of us put together, so if there's anything we can do to make the transition easier, just say the word." 

The Doctor was overwhelmed with Pete's generosity.  He slowly met Pete's eyes and spoke softly, "Thank you.  There is one thing." 

Pete nodded and the Doctor continued, "The Dimension Cannon.  I need to get rid of it.  Any information about it needs to be purged.  Ideally, it needs to be completely destroyed." 

Pete raised an eyebrow, but did not appear to be surprised, "I'll have the team set to work on it tomorrow." 

The Doctor shook his head, "Not good enough, I need to do it." 

He reached into his pocket and showed his sonic.  Pete nodded his head in understanding, "I don’t think that will help your relationship with Rose." 

Pete had switched gears from Head of Torchwood to Rose's Father so quickly the Doctor nearly got whiplash.  He tried to maintain his composure, "Unfortunately, relationship or no, this must happen.  It is part of the reason I was left here.  If the Shadow Proclamation finds out about this, they will find a way to get here.  Since the loss of the Time Lords, purposeful travel between dimensions is prohibited, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.  And I didn't make them too happy when I took off to deal with the Daleks myself.  They had expected me to lead them into battle.  If they find the Cannon here - let's just say it would be bad.  You're lucky you found me before you ran into them, or worse, before they found you." 

Pete nodded solemnly, hearing the unspoken threat that lay behind the Doctor's words.  Pete stood, poured himself a bit more Scotch and finished it off in one gulp.  He turned his attention back to the Doctor, "I suppose you would rather get it done today.  Are you feeling up to it?" 

The Doctor shrugged, "It doesn't matter how I feel, the sooner it's done, the better.  And Pete?" 

Pete met his eyes and the Doctor continued, "Everything has to go.  For now, I'll hold off on requesting retcon.  But everything else must go… permanently." 

With that phrase, the Doctor could tell that Pete understood the gravity of the situation.  Pete nodded, "I'll get the jeep ready and I suppose it's best if Rose doesn't know?" 

The Doctor shrugged, "Right now, you know her better than I do." 

Pete nodded and smirked, "You just got through saving two universes, being sick for four days and now you're going to save us again.  Don't you ever catch a break?" 

The Doctor smiled, "You've taken care of me, given me all the essentials when you could have left me to fend for myself.  I consider that a tremendous break."

A level of understanding passed between the two men.  Pete left to get the jeep.  The Doctor followed him out of the office and returned to his room, he wanted to check his bag again for any other items he might need.  He did not even open the bag, simply touching it, knowing that he owned nothing else in this universe almost sent him into tears.  He collected his emotions and went to meet Pete at the front door.  On his way, he passed through the kitchen, which was the only path to the front door he knew.  Rose and Tony were in there so he tried to sneak around without being seen.  He should know better than to hide from a four-year-old. 

The Doctor was almost though to the hall when he heard a young voice say, "Do-tor, where're you goin'?" 

He sighed, but felt like he had to reply to the boy, "Your dad and I need to take care of a few things, so he's taking me to his office." 

Tony seemed appeased with that reply, but Rose raised an eyebrow. 

The Doctor shrugged, he did not want to lie to her, but he did not want to go into details either.  They heard a car horn.  "Well, I bet that’s for me," the Doctor said, "We'll be back later." 

"Do-tor," Tony began, "When you get back can we pway?" 

The Doctor smiled, "If it's not too late, I think I'd like that, Tony." 

The young boy beamed and the Doctor went to meet Pete.


	7. Chapter 7

There was an uneasy silence in the car as they made their way to Tochwood Tower.  The closer they got the more agitated the Doctor became.  At one of the stoplights, Pete looked at him and finally spoke, "Look, Doctor, there's something you should know about the Cannon." 

The Doctor swallowed hard, trying to suppress his emotions, "It's in the -- that room isn't it?  With the white wall that created the bridge between the two worlds... Where I los-..." 

He broke off unable to finish the thought.  Pete awkwardly rested a hand on his shoulder.  Pete nodded, knowing he did not have to say anymore.  A part of the Doctor wanted to fall apart and burst into tears.  Instead he rubbed his face with his hands and said, "Light's green, Pete."

Pete drove on, but the silence seemed more companionable now.  They were still a ways off, but the imposing image of Torchwood Tower was looming ever larger.  Pete pulled up to what looked like a loading garage and he pressed a button.  The door opened and Pete drove in.  Once he had parked, Pete got out of the car.  The Doctor remained in his seat for a few moments and Pete became concerned about his readiness.  He came around to the passenger side and gently knocked on the window.  The Doctor looked quite pale, but nodded his head and got out of the car.

Pete led him through the car park to the elevator.  Pete needed to scan his palm and his retina after pressing the button that would lead them to the 45th floor.  As the elevator ascended, Pete explained, “Only people working directly with the Canon are allowed up there.  We’ve taken every security measure to ensure that.  Are you certain you have to do this?” 

The Doctor just stared at Pete darkly.  Pete continued, “Right, of course you are.  As certain as I had been that first time we met.” 

The Doctor was leaning against the elevator wall and simply nodded.  The Doctor could not speak.  He was just focusing on trying to steel his nerves.  He had hoped he would never see that ghastly wall again and here it was, once again driving a wedge between him and Rose.  He had no choice; he now understood that Rose would never willingly give up her search for the Doctor of the other universe.

The elevator came to a slow stop and ‘dinged’ just before the doors silently slid open.  Pete led the way and they turned the corner.  Before them loomed the large white wall.  There was a large machine in the middle of the room that looked nothing like a cannon.  It looked more like a super computer turned inside- out.  He walked around it, eying it carefully.  He looked up at Pete and said, “I’m sorry to have to do this, because _this_ is brilliant.” 

Pete simply nodded, “Look, since I’m here, there’s some things I need to get done.  I’ll be in the office there working on some things.  If there’s anything you need, just let me know.” 

The Doctor nodded, but said nothing.  He then set to work in earnest.  First cutting the power supply to the cannon and then disconnecting it from the computers.

Once he was certain that nothing could accidentally happen through the disassembly, he set to work taking it apart.  Mostly he worked silently, with only the buzz of the Sonic making much if any noise.  It was painful work.  Not because it was hard or he was hurting himself, but because some of the bits and bobs he came across reminded him so much of pieces he could use on the TARDIS.  Every time that thought came forth, he would shake his head to chase it away.  Pete would look up every once in awhile to check on him, but he seemed to be doing all right, so Pete let him be.  That is, until several hours later, when the entire mechanism was in a million pieces all over the floor and Pete began to hear a loud pounding noise.  Pete looked up and saw the Doctor using a sledge hammer to bash the pieces further.

Pete approached the Doctor and as the Doctor got ready to swing the hammer again, Pete rested his hand on it, preventing the Doctor from moving it.  The Doctor cried out and Pete interrupted him, “It’s just me, what do you think you’re doing?  I thought you were only going to disassemble it.” 

The Doctor looked at Pete; his eyes were almost wild with a mixture of grief and anger.  Pete was surprised to see such a look and actually took a couple steps back.  The Doctor looked at him, wiping the sweat on his brow with his arm.  He shook his head, “No, I have to make it impossible to ever rebuild it.” 

“But, Doctor,” Pete protested, “We could use those parts for other things:  to build something different, something to help people here!” 

The Doctor replied, “Then you will have to find another way or different parts!”  

Pete shook his head, “Now, this is enough!  I won’t let you do this.” 

The Doctor stared at Pete and nearly growled, “You don’t have a choice!” 

He went back to swinging the hammer.  Pete was shocked by the Doctor’s look and tone.  He had heard Rose describe him as the Oncoming Storm, but he thought it was just another title, now he was witnessing the truth of it.  Still, the Doctor was not making a threat against him per se, and had been quite clear about the dismantling of the cannon, so for now, Pete let him be and returned to the desk.  The smashing continued for another hour and in the last ten minutes had gotten weaker with bigger gaps of silence in between. 

That was when Pete heard it:  it was almost a whimper.  Pete got up to check on the Doctor.  When he looked in the room, he saw the Doctor kneeling amidst the pieces of shattered cannon.  He had his arms covering his head and was rocking back and forth.  The whimpering sound came again.  Pete was at a loss for what to do.  He walked slowly across the broken bits and bobs when he got to the Doctor, he gently touched the Doctor’s shoulder.  The Doctor moved suddenly and grasped Pete around his legs, hiccupping as he tried to speak through tears, “I am too dangerous to be on my own… I committed the worst crime, there is no punishment serve enough for me.  And there’ll be nothing left of her…” 

The Doctor completely broke down, then.  Pete carefully knelt down and held the Doctor.  Once the Doctor had calmed down enough, he and Pete swept of the debris and deposited it into the incinerator.  No mention was made by either man about what had happened.  Before they returned to the elevator, Pete asked the Doctor about the plans.  The Doctor indicated that he had already taken care of the computer data using his sonic.  Pete was about to ask how, without the passwords, but figured the Doctor was smart enough to get around that and remained silent.

* * *

The Doctor had hoped the trip back to the mansion would be as silent as the drive in had been.  But Pete broached the next subject, “I said earlier you have some decisions to make.  And that I’d give you time and I plan to.  However, it might be a good idea to start thinking about a name and a cover story for your appearance.  I don’t need to know anything for awhile, but just start thinking about it, okay?” 

The Doctor absently nodded, but did not say anything in reply.  The rest of the trip was in silence.  When they pulled up to the mansion, they got out of the jeep. The Doctor looked at the house a bit nervously then looked back at Pete, “I need to go for a walk… I’ll be back in a bit?” 

Pete nodded and reached into his pocket.  He gave a cell phone to the Doctor, “You might want to carry this…  This London is similar to yours, but just different enough that I can’t tell you the times Jacks and Rose have gotten lost.  If you need anything just press and hold ‘2’ and it will connect you to the house.” 

The Doctor nodded and pocketed the phone, though he really did not anticipate a need for it. He turned to walk down the driveway, when he was fairly certain Pete was in the house, he picked up speed.  When he got to the end of the drive, he veered off into the lawn.  The Mansion grounds were more than enough room, he thought and he broke into a full-fledged run.  He ran for twenty minutes at his break-neck pace, pleased that at least some of his physical attributes had not changed much.  He kept shifting directions to stay as far away from the house as possible.

When he felt like he was the farthest place from anywhere, he allowed himself to fall to his knees and let out an agonizing scream.  It was a scream he had been holding in ever since the TARDIS had left him.  It lasted a full three minutes and thirty-six point twenty-one seconds, when his human voice simply gave out on him.  He then curled in upon himself and wept bitter tears:  for all he had lost, for what was going to happen to Donna, for the genocide he had committed, but most of all, in that moment, for destroying the dimension cannon and that he had doomed himself to being in this universe for the rest of his life.

It was about that time that is started to rain.  It was not a calm and gentle rain.  It was an all out downpour.  It might have been a comfort, but it was a cold rain, not a warm and refreshing one.  He picked himself up and started walking back to the house.  He walked slowly for it was as if even the Earth’s gravity was different here and was weighing down heavily upon him.  By the time he got back to the mansion, he was soaked through and he was… cold.  He still was not used to the idea of being cold it had been so rare in his other body.  Jackie must have seen him coming in the distance, because when he reached the terrace doors that opened from the kitchen, she was standing under the awning with a large towel.

Jackie’s expression was kind and gentle, almost like she understood why he had run and more importantly why he had returned.  She wrapped the towel around him as she spoke, “You should’ve come back sooner.  You’re gonna catch a chill!” 

It was strange, the words sounded like admonishment, but the way she was trying to dry him off and warm him up by rubbing the towel on him, it felt more like kindly concern.  They were still standing on the terrace and she helped him out of his jacket and draped it over a chair to dry.  She then asked him to wait as she stepped inside for another dry towel.  She made him take off his trainers and socks and had laid out a towel just inside the door for him to stand on.  She left the kitchen for a few minutes, when she returned he was no longer dripping as much, but he had begun to shiver.  She walked him to his room and straight to the en-suite.  That is when he noticed she had started a bath for him.  She showed him where there were additional towels and other supplies, then she left him to it.

It took him longer to warm up than he expected.  But the bath helped sooth his aching muscles.  It also calmed him, which had the affect of allowing him to cry again.  This time it was only his sorrow that came forth.  When he was done, he dressed in the training suit and made his way to the kitchen.  He was not really in the mood to see anyone, but he did want some tea.  When he got there, Jackie was waiting with a mug of hot tea, which she silently handed to him, but with a kind smile.  He sat at the table and looked out the windows over the field.  After a few minutes he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder.  He looked down on it and was surprised to realize it was Rose’s and not Jackie’s.  He turned slightly to face her, but said nothing. 

Rose met his eyes as she spoke softly, “Adjusting is… difficult, probably more so for you because you have so many… changes... all at once.” 

She was forcing herself to speak to him, that much was obvious.  All he wanted at the moment was to be left alone.  This was the time when he would be tinkering with the TARDIS.  He sighed heavily at that thought.  He missed her, his Old Girl, missed her more than he has ever missed anything.  She had been with him since the very beginning, the constant comfort through everything he ever faced.  He spoke thickly trying to cover his emotion, “Rose, you don’t have to do this… I’m fine.” 

“Suit yourself,” she said curtly before walking away. 

He winced at that.  She had extended an olive branch and he had flatly refused it.  He just was not in the mood to accept comfort. 

* * *

Jackie had returned to the kitchen, “Tea’ll be ready in about ten minutes.” 

The Doctor turned to face her, “Need any help?” 

He was hoping she would let him and he was also hoping he did not look or sound as desperate as he felt in that moment.  Her head tilted to the side as if she was evaluating him, then she smiled and said, “Sure, why don’t you set the table?” 

She helped him find all the utensils for the place settings and he set to work.  He got a bit creative with the napkins folding them into little designs and shapes.  If nothing else, it was something to do with his hands.  For Jackie and Rose he folded flower shapes, for Pete a bird and for Tony a three-dimensional geometric shape. 

When he was done with that, he came back into the main part of the kitchen to see if Jackie needed any additional help.  She put him to work putting the side dishes on the table and when that was done, she asked him to get Tony for dinner.  A faint smile tugged at the Doctor’s lips as he left the room.  He had not seen Tony since his return and something about the little tyke just made him smile.  He wanted to smile… he needed to smile.  He found Tony’s room fairly easily, it was just down the hall from his.  He knocked on the door and smiled when a little voice hollered, “Come in!”

The Doctor poked his head in and saw Tony sitting in the middle of a mess of large-sized legos.  He said, “Your mum sent me to get you for tea.” 

Tony met the Doctor’s eyes and a large smile broke through, “Do-tor!” 

Tony scrambled to get up and hugged the Doctor around his legs.  Tony released him and took his hand leading him into the room.  Then, the Doctor got a good view of the room. The inside of the door had been painted blue- “TARDIS Blue,” as were the book shelves and bed frame.  The bedding had a galaxy print on it.  The walls and ceiling were covered in glow-in-the-dark stars and planets.  And there were drawings covering everything of various creatures, the TARDIS and even some of him.  The Doctor could tell Tony had help with some of them, but it was obvious Tony had done some on his own as well.  A genuine smile crossed the Doctor’s features.  It felt like the first he had smiled in a very long time.

Tony was tugging at his hand, trying to get his attention.  Tony excitedly spoke, “Do you like it?” 

The Doctor looked down at Tony and ruffled his hair with his free hand, “Oh Tony, I think it’s brilliant!” 

Tony beamed with pride, “My sister would tell me bedtime stories about your adventures.  And Mum and Dad and her made my room look like this.  Late at night, when those stars are glowing, it feels bigger on the inside.” 

The Doctor could not help but grin widely at the thought.  Tony continued, “Maybe tonight you can tell me a story and then you can see.” 

The Doctor nodded, “I think I’d like that!  But, for now, we best get to the kitchen, I don’t think your mum would like for us to be late for dinner.” 

Tony shook his head, “Not at all!  And she can get very cross.” 

The Doctor laughed heartily at that.  Tony grinned as he said, “You’ve seen her cross, haven’t you?” 

The Doctor knelt down and rested a hand on Tony’s shoulder, “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Tony nodded solemnly for a four-year-old. 

The Doctor whispered, “I’ve _made_ her get cross!” 

Tony’s jaw dropped and he rested a hand gently on one of the Doctor’s shoulders, “Did she spank you too?” 

The Doctor smiled at that, remembering the times Jackie had slapped him, particularly that first time.  He replied as he stood and extended his hand, “Not exactly.  Come on, best we get going.” 

Tony nodded and took his hand.  Somehow feeling the small hand in his own felt right and that made him smile as well.  Now, if only he could get Rose to see what everyone else seemed to… 

Dinner seemed much more relaxed than Lunch had been.  The Doctor was not sure if that was because he had connected with Tony, or everything he had done that day.  Rose seemed a bit calmer as well.  Neither the Doctor nor Pete mentioned what had happened at Torchwood Tower.  Rose was on a mandatory break and so would hopefully not find out until the next day.  Pete had already sent a memo to her team telling them he was aware of the Cannon situation and that due to a mandatory rest, Rose was not to be contacted.  He knew the team would respect his wishes.  He needed to be the one to tell her.

Everyone helped clear off the table and do dishes, even Tony.  When that was done, it was time for Tony’s bath.  He wanted the Doctor to help him so he would be able to hear a longer story.  The Doctor met Jackie’s eyes and she nodded her approval, “But not too late!  Tony has school in the morning.” 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and Jackie replied, “I think it’s good for him to have a normal school experience, well as normal as he can, considering.” 

The Doctor replied, “Jackie, that’s really brilliant.  He’s very lucky to have you for his mum.” 

Jackie replied, “Oh, get on, you… And make sure you stop at half-Eight.” 

The Doctor nodded and turned to leave when Jackie called back, “And nothing that’ll give him nightmares!” 

The Doctor just grinned to himself, trying to think of any of his stories that would not give a child any nightmares.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor decided to tell Tony about his experience on Terra Alpha when he was in his Seventh incarnation, with Ace and the Happiness Patrol.  It was a fairly short story and with characters like the Kandy Man and the Rat-Dog, Fifi, he figured it was a story Tony would enjoy.  Besides, since it had taken place before Rose and he was fairly certain he had never told Rose about it, he knew it was one the tyke would have never heard.  Additional to all of that, it would be easy to leave out the aspects that were scarier.  Tony proved to be a willing and attentive audience.  As he told the story, the Doctor helped Tony with his bath and get dressed for bed.  

He timed the story better then he had hoped and was finished at twenty-three past eight.  Tony was beaming and still giggling over the idea of a "pink TARDIS."  The Doctor was tucking him in and wishing him good night when Tony said, "Since you're done, do you wanna stay and see the stars?" 

The Doctor felt a smile spread across his features, "Yeah, I think I'd like that." 

Tony made himself as small in his bed as he could, leaving a bit of room for the Doctor, then instructed him to turn out the lights.  The Doctor did and gingerly made his way back to Tony's bed.  Tony was right, with the placement of the stars and planets that were glowing; the room did look "bigger on the inside."  

The Doctor lay down next to Tony and before he could stop him, Tony was curled up in the crook of his arm, resting his head on the Doctor's shoulder.  As Tony started to drift to sleep he mumbled, "I'm glad you came, Do-tor.  We're gonna be best friends!  I know it." 

The Doctor reached over with his free hand and stroked Tony's hair in a gentle manner.  The mention of "best friends" made his heart lurch as he thought of Donna.  He swallowed down his emotion, not wanting to disturb Tony.  He looked down at the boy and hoped he was right.  He smiled wistfully as the memories of doing this with his own children and grandchildren came back to him.  He had missed this.  He did not even know how much he had missed it until now.  Once he was sure Tony was asleep, he carefully extracted himself from the boy's bed.  When he got to the door, he turned back to look over him and whispered, "May the stars be your guide and remember I'm here to watch over you and protect you."

A familiar voice behind him spoke as he closed the door to Tony's room, "What was that, then?" 

The Doctor turned around, his deep brown eyes meeting the lighter brown of Rose's.  He shrugged, "Just something I used to say when I would tuck children into bed." 

Rose shook her head, "But what did you say?  What language was that?" 

The Doctor looked at her curiously.  He did not realize he had not spoken English.  Rose caught the expression and figured since he knew so many, she should help him narrow it down, "It was sort of melodic almost like you were singing?" 

The Doctor's eyes grew large.  There was only one language he would utter unconsciously that fit that description.  He rocked on his heels, shoving his hands nervously in his pockets.  He had not spoken this since he had ended the Time War.  It was too painful to know he was the only one left who could understand it.  Instead of answering Rose's second question, he answered the first more completely, "I suppose you could call it a blessing.  It is a way of wishing pleasant dreams."

He went to step around her, but she gingerly rested a hand on his arm, "'S nice, thank you for taking care of him.  He is really glad you're here." 

The Doctor met her eyes, "And what about you, Rose?" 

Her eyes met his for a moment and then she lowered her gaze, "I... I don't know yet." 

The Doctor nodded when he spoke there was no edge to his voice; it was more informative, "Well, when you do, you know where to find me." 

He went to go to his room when Rose suddenly spoke again, "We're gonna watch a movie.  Mum, Dad and me.... Would you like to join us?" 

The Doctor paused at his door.  Did he want to?  Not really, but he did feel obligated and turned back around, "What movie?" 

She smiled, "A classic: _Who Framed Roger Rabbit?_   And it really is hardly at all changed from our universe." 

The Doctor nearly chuckled as Rose referred to it as a classic, but since it had been released when she was only a year old, he presumed that to her, perhaps it was.

The Doctor smiled thoughtfully but spoke excitedly, "The live action characters interacting so well with the Toons?  Oh... and that Jessica Rabbit!  All set in the backdrop of a Film Noir Style?  You're right, Rose it is a classic.  I think I'd quite like that." 

Rose nodded, "Well, we're starting it at Nine, if you want to join us..." 

The Doctor nodded, "Okay, Nine it is." 

He had not had a movie night in… well, ever in this incarnation.  He decided to make the most of it.  He got into his pajamas and then he put on a housecoat and slippers.  He was secretly hoping there would be some popcorn and fizzy drink.  But he suspected they would be drinking Vitex.  Still, as long as they had popcorn, he figured that would be good enough.  When he was ready, it was nearly Nine and he wandered downstairs ready for a fun time.  He became very excited as the smells of popcorn drifted up the stairs and met his nostrils.  He then bounded down the stairs almost as he had seen Tony do earlier that evening when they had gone down for dinner. 

* * *

After the movie ended, Jackie and Pete retired to bed.  Rose and the Doctor remained there, for a time just sitting in silence.  They each had some popcorn they were finishing off.  Both were afraid to speak.  It had been the most pleasant time and neither was keen to ruin it.  Each was afraid that speaking would be the fastest way to ruin the mood.  The Doctor lay down on the couch.  He hoped it looked casual enough that he was just stretching out, but the fact was he wanted to watch Rose and this was the only way to do that without unnerving her.  Rose had been sitting in the over-stuffed chair to the side of the coffee table.  This was worse.  Now they were staring at each other.  But, now he felt like if he moved it would be obvious how nervous he was. 

“Good flick,” the Doctor began. 

Rose nodded, “It was good to see you smile, ‘s been ages it seems.”

They went quiet again each picking at their popcorn.  Rose broke the silence this time.  “Mum and dad said we should get you some clothes.  Since I’m banned from going to Torchwood tomorrow, wanna go shopping?” 

This comment caused the Doctor to look down at how he was dressed.  But he tried to sound excited, “Oh, can we go to a little shop?  I like little shops much better, than arcades.  Don’t have much luck there, really.” 

He tossed a piece of popcorn in the air before catching it in his mouth. The Doctor briefly wondered if Rose would make a comment about Henrick’s or question what he meant by his luck.  She did both when she replied, “Your luck?  You think _your_ luck is bad?  What about me, yeah?  My job was blown up.” 

But she flashed him a grin.  “Hey, in my defense I did get you out of the building before I did anything,” the Doctor quipped in return. 

They stared at each other for a few moments.  Neither was sure how the other was going to react but suddenly, they both burst into peels of laughter.  That felt really good.  After a bit, they both calmed down again.  Rose got up and walked over to the Doctor, she extended her hand, offering to take his bowl.  Instead, the Doctor reached out his hand and took hers.  “No, I was,” she began but she looked into his eyes and stopped. 

He was holding her hand.  He could feel her pulse quicken just as his was.  Her hand increased in temperature slightly with the sudden change and even trembled a bit.  He smiled warmly at her and spoke softly, “Rose Tyler, defender of the universe, but she quakes at the touch of someone she knows?” 

At that, Rose released his hand and reached the bowl, “I – I was trying to be helpful and collect your bowl.” 

He smiled again and let her take it.  “Oh, sorry.  Here you are then.” 

She took it and stacked it with hers and walked over to the sink.  When her back was turned he smiled, this was yet another Time Lord talent that he found still in-tacked.  Maybe he was more Time Lord than human; that would be pleasing.   The Doctor got up and followed her, “So, shopping tomorrow, then?” 

Rose nodded without turning to look at him.  If he did not know better, he might think that she was upset, as it was, he was fairly certain she just did not want him to see her reaction to touching him.  She finally turned around, “Yeah, shopping tomorrow.  So, we’d better get some sleep, it’ll probably be a long day.” 

She smiled brightly and he nodded letting a little grin play across his features.  She moved to walk to the stairs, her hand gently brushing against him.  If it were anyone else, any other time, he might have shrugged the gesture off as accidental.  When Rose got to the stairs she turned and smiled, “Goodnight, Doctor.” 

He had to hold everything in check just to form a coherent reply, “Goodnight, Rose.” 

The Doctor watched Rose as she made her way up the stairs.  He could not move.  He was gob-smacked that she had called him “Doctor” intentionally.  A slow and broad smile formed on his lips.  It was almost like it was in slow motion.  His heart even skipped a beat or two.  He was not sure he has ever felt this sort of happiness before.  Well, no, he was quite sure he had not.  Not in this body, anyway.  He stood there for a few minutes just exploring the differences of how it felt in this body.  He picked up on the increased heartbeat, the slightly more shallow breathing.  The way the quickness makes his hands tremble ever so slightly.  Hum.  That is human.  Very human.  Still, good for him to know. 

The Doctor sighed and made his way up the stairs.  He stopped by Tony’s room first.  He already felt a strong attachment to the boy and wanted to check on him.  Tony was sleeping soundly.  The Doctor looked around at the room, the glow-in-the-dark stars had faded and the room was just a dark place.  It had lost its “Bigger on the inside” feel to it.  He had a great sense of peace and calm.  Everything was going to be alright.  He stood there, just enjoying the moment.  It was a peace he had not felt since… Well, since Susan had been traveling with him, if he were honest.  He leaned against the doorjamb watching Tony sleep.  He gazed at the boy and for the first time since the Time War, he intentionally spoke High Gallifreyan as he repeated his blessing from earlier, "May the stars be your guide and remember I'm here to watch over you and protect you." 

He had expected to feel sadness or longing, but the feeling of peace remained.  And he smiled.  Probably the first honest and true smile he had experienced since before the Time War.  The Doctor quietly closed the door to Tony’s room and made his way to his own room.  He walked over to the wardrobe and looked inside again.  His single blue suit and the sweat suit Jackie had gotten him were all that were hanging there.  He had a decision to make.  Tomorrow he would pick out the clothing that he would identify with himself for the rest of his… his life.  Things were too rushed on the TARDIS, he went with what was quickest with only the slightest alteration.  But tomorrow, he would have to really think about the kind of man he wanted to present himself as. 

Did he want to continue with the pinstripe theme?  Would he go more casual?  Some combination of the two, perhaps?  Tony had shown off his wardrobe and he seemed to have different clothing for all kinds of weather and events.  He had everything from a mini-tuxedo for formal events to jeans and pull-overs for daily wear.  What had surprised the Doctor the most was that everything he looked at looked like “Tony.”  Then, he recalled all of Rose’s clothes and how all of them were uniquely her.  He started to wonder how much clothing really mattered. 

He turned down his bed.  He sighed.  He was… tired!  He supposed this was another human attribute he would have to get used to.  Still, it was one of those annoying things he wish he didn’t have to get used to.  It was not long before he closed his eyes.  Sleep took him quickly.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor woke the next morning to the sound of light knocking at his door.  Then a little voice asked, “Do-tor?” 

The annoyance of being waken so abruptly vanished at the sound of Tony’s voice and he could not help the grin that appeared across his features.  He made sure he looked appropriate in his bed and called out, “Come in,” before closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. 

He heard Tony’s hesitant footsteps approach the bed.  He heard Tony sigh with disappointment and whisper, “I thought you said, ‘Come in.’” 

At that, the Doctor reached over, grabbed the boy, hauled him onto the bed and tickled him while saying brightly, “I did!” 

Tony was giggling loudly while trying to fight the Doctor off, which was making the Doctor laugh as well. When Tony did not seem to be able to breathe anymore, he cried, “Stop!” 

The Doctor did immediately, pulling his hands away to show Tony he would not tickle him again until he was ready.  When Tony could speak again, his eyes went large, “You stopped!” 

The Doctor kept his hands where Tony could see them and nodded, “You told me to.” 

Tony inhaled deeply and tried to sit up.  At that, the Doctor helped him, but did not attempt to tickle him.  Tony said, “But Rose never does.” 

The Doctor grinned and leaned in close, as if to tell Tony a secret, “I’m not Rose.  Besides, you need to breathe and it’s hard to breathe when you’re laughing that hard.”

The Doctor flashed a smile at Tony who grinned in return, but then it faltered a bit, “Does that mean you’ll never tickle me again?” 

The Doctor gave him an innocent look, “Why, do you want me to?” 

Tony gave a little nod.  The Doctor beamed, “Then I’ll tickle you again sometime, but if you need to breathe, just tell me to stop and I will, deal?” 

Tony smiled brightly, “Deal,” and stuck out his hand. 

The Doctor took the hand and Tony used that to pull himself on top of the Doctor and started tickling him back.  The Doctor was not really ticklish, but he was laughing anyway.  It had been far too long since he had laughed like this.  After a minute of letting Tony have the upper hand, the Doctor returned to tickling him.  His screeches and giggles echoed around the room. Suddenly a very stern female voice was heard in the doorway to the Doctor’s room, “You! Mister Anthony Peter Tyler, breakfast. Downstairs. Now!  You will not be late for school today!” 

Tony and the Doctor froze. Tony then scampered off the bed and ran to the door.  Jackie ruffled his hair as he tried to pass her without her touching him.  The Doctor swallowed and was about to apologize as Jackie took a few steps into his room.  She looked at him trying to maintain a stern expression, “And you, Doctor,” she lost her composure, “Thank you, he hasn’t laughed like that since Mickey moved out after his Gran died.”  

At that the Doctor’s face fell, “They were here?” 

Jackie nodded, “As she got worse, it seemed only right.  But don’t you be sad.  Tony has missed having an adult around who isn’t related to him.” 

The Doctor grinned at that, but he was not about to mention how much he had missed having children around.  Jackie turned to leave, “You’re welcome to join us for breakfast, but it’s nothing fancy on school days.” 

The Doctor nodded and Jackie closed the door as she left.  It sounded like breakfast would be less formal and Jackie looked like she was only in jeans, so he grabbed his house coat and went to the kitchen.  Jackie heard him coming down the stairs and poured a mug of tea for him.  He looked at the table where only Tony was sitting, “What about Pete and Rose?” 

Jackie explained, “Oh, Pete had to go in a bit early today.  They need to start the reports and debriefing sessions over the events that took place.  Rose doesn’t get to sleep in often, I wasn’t about to wake her.” 

The Doctor nodded with a smirk as he sipped his tea.  Then he looked at Jackie, “Do you have any coffee?” 

Jackie turned around, “But you always drink tea.  Is this tea not good enough?” 

The Doctor shook his head, “It must be a Donna aspect.  I have a craving for it.” 

Jackie looked at him, “Well, you’re going out in public with Rose today, I don’t know that trying something new would be a good idea.” 

He shrugged, “I suppose you’re right.” 

Jackie smiled at him, “I’m a mum. Of course I am!  But if you get everything you need today, then maybe I’ll make some for you tomorrow.” 

The Doctor grinned, “Okay!”  He paused, “So weekday breakfast, how does this work, then?” 

Jackie grinned at him, “There’s eggs in the fridge, cereal in that cupboard there.  And various breads for toast.  Basically, do-it-yourself.”  

The Doctor nodded and set to work.  He popped some cinnamon raisin bread in the toaster, found a banana and some honey.  He pealed the banana and started to slice it.  When the toast was ready, he put honey on it and then put bananas on the honey and the other slice of toast on top, making a sandwich.  He stuck the rest of the banana in his mouth and carried the plate with the sandwich and his mug over to the table to sit with Tony.  He took a bite of the banana as he set everything down.  He looked at Tony and grinned.  Tony was eating what looked like hot cereal.  Tony was looking at the Doctor’s sandwich with great interest and had stopped eating.  Jackie noticed and called from across the room, “Tony! Stop starin’ it’s rude!  Now, finish up, you gotta go to school soon.”  

Tony’s expression fell slightly, “Okay.” 

The Doctor grinned at him as he spoke, “Maybe sometime I’ll make one for you.  But, your mum’s right, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” 

Tony seemed pleased with that and it was not long before he was washing-up.  Jackie came back in the kitchen, “Rose should be up soon, but I’m takin’ Tony to school.  Is there anything you need in the meantime?” 

The Doctor shook his head. 

Jackie continued, “And no coffee, I mean it!” 

* * *

Jackie was right, Rose walked in the kitchen a couple of minutes after she left.  Her hair was pulled into a loose pony-tail and her pajamas looked about two sizes too big.  In sort, the Doctor thought, she was revealing just how young she really is.  She did not notice the Doctor sitting at the table.  She was returning the jug of juice to the refrigerator when he announced his presence by saying, “Good morning, Rose.”  

Rose nearly jumped out of her skin, she had been looking forward to having the morning alone in the house.  The Doctor could not help the smile that spread across his features and he whispered to himself, “Yep, still got it!” 

Once Rose had gathered her wits and breath back, she responded, “Morning.” 

The Doctor’s face fell slightly, noticing that she did not call him, “Doctor,” but then he did not have high expectations.  Last night had been only the first step.  Rose got herself a mug of tea and two slices of white-bread toast and sat down opposite the Doctor.  He watched her in silence for a few moments.  Finally, he said, "So, shopping.  In little shops.  I like little shops." 

Rose could not help but smile at that, "Well, there's this place with a collection of little shops:  it's called the arcade."  Her smile broadened but it lacked the flash of glimmer that he was quite sure she reserved only for him - _er_ for the Time Lord. 

He picked his mug up and drank deeply from it to hide the sudden emotion that hit him.  He needed today to go right on so many levels and for so many reasons.  Letting himself have doubts like that would do no good.  He was the only Doctor here and he was as close to a Time Lord as this universe was going to get.  Already, some of the time lines were starting to straighten themselves out.  So he just needed to give himself time to adjust.  He thought for a moment about Romana and E-Space and wondered how long it had taken her.  He smiled to himself, figuring with as brilliant as she was, it would not have taken her long. 

A library!  That's what he would need next.  He would need to soak up as much information about this universe as possible.  And though the Tylers would probably let him use the internet, there was something about books, journals and newspapers that were somehow more credible.  He should go get dressed and ask Rose to take him to the nearest library.  That thought brought him back to the task at hand, shopping.  He was going to be choosing his look.  And he would not have the aid of the TARDIS this time.  He took a shuddering breath at that.

Rose heard it and looked at him, “You alright?” 

He flashed a grin, “I’m always alright.” 

A small smile spread across Rose's features, but she didn't quite meet his eyes.  She finished her breakfast and cleared her place, "Well, I need to shower and dress before we go, so be ready in an hour?" 

The Doctor nodded, "Okay, an hour." 

Rose smiled softly at him and went to her room.  He finished off what was left of his tea and returned went to get ready himself.  He took a quick shower and dressed in his suit.  He filled his pockets with everything he might need, which was everything he owned.  He wondered how he would make the pockets in his new clothes transdimensional.  He shook the thought away and returned to the family room to wait for Rose. 

He had just sat down when Rose called, “Ready?” 

He popped back up and looked at her, “I’m always ready to visit little shops!” 

He grinned manically, but it did not quite reach his eyes.  Ever since his Seventh regeneration nearly did not happen, choosing his new look had been something he had done privately.  He was not sure how he would handle doing it in front of Rose.  She led him to the front door and came to a sudden stop.  He watched as she slowly turned around biting her lip.  So he asked, “Is something wrong?” 

She did not meet his eyes, but replied, “There’s something you need to know.  Vitex is hugely popular here and well, me being Pete Tyler’s daughter…” 

The Doctor smiled almost fondly, “Rose Tyler, are you trying to tell me there will be people watching us?” 

She lowered eyes and he found it nice that she at least had the decency to look embarrassed about it.  She shrugged, “It’s possible.” She paused before continuing, “Are you alright with that?” 

He put up his mock-acceptance, “Oh sure, why wouldn’t I be alright with that?  I have loads of memories of being the center of attention whether I wanted it or not.” 

Rose slowly met his eyes.  He was hoping she would call him on his attitude or do something to show she might understand what he was going through.  Instead she smiled faintly, “Well, if you’re sure…” 

He did not feel like he had another option other than to smile and nod.  They made their way to the SUV and started the drive in to town.  “So,” the Doctor began attempting at conversation, “Do all Torchwood employees have vehicles like this, or just the Tylers?” 

She took a quick look at him, “Mostly just the team leaders and dad.  Although, anyone who works in the field has the opportunity to purchase one that has fewer bells and whistles.  When the stars started going out, it seemed like everyone was getting one.”  

The Doctor nodded and tried to keep conversation going, “And where are you taking me?” 

Rose completed a right turn before responding, “Oh there is a row of smaller shops this way.  Might be easier to avoid people.  You were asleep in whatever it was…” 

The Doctor mumbled softly, “Regeneration sickness.”

"...When all the celebrations about the stars coming back happened.  But, I think if we went to a proper arcade, people might notice me.  So it’ll be better to go there.”  She paused, “Did you say something a minute ago?”

The Doctor shook his head and an uncomfortable silence fell between them for the rest of the trip.


	10. Chapter 10

Rose parked the SUV in front of a string of shops.  Both exited the vehicle nervously, but as soon as the Doctor laid eyes on one of the shops, he knew he would like it.  Displayed inside one of the windows was a brown suit with blue pinstripes, not unlike his old one.  He flashed a manic grin and entered the shop.  Rose followed, not exactly trying to suppress the sigh when she saw the suit. 

Once he was in the shop, though, the Doctor by-passed the brown suit and started to look around at everything there.  He absently ran his fingers through the ties that were displayed.  Some even looked similar to the ones the Time Lord had worn.  But, he was not that man anymore.  Frankly, he did not want to be.  He did however want some clothes that he would feel comfortable in.  One of the shop attendants asked him if he required assistance.  He replied with, "No, this is something I usually do on my own, thanks."

The attendant gave him a "that's strange" look and let him be.  The Doctor took a deep breath and glanced around the shop again.  He felt Rose watching him... no she was... studying him… analyzing him. He started to pick out a few trousers and jackets, but decided the shirts here were too dressy for the look he was going for.  He liked the idea of wearing a pullover with his suit.  And maybe in the winter he might wear a turtle neck.  Rose noticed the suits he was picking and spoke up, “While we’re here, you should probably look at getting a few casual trousers as well and a tux.” 

At the word tux, his eyes snapped to hers, “Oh no, I have decided that tuxes are bad luck. Nothing good ever comes from me wearing a tux.” 

Rose, for the first time offered a bit of compassion, “You’re here now, maybe things’ll be different?” 

He sighed heavily, but knew she was right, “Okay, fine I’ll try to find one of those as well.” 

Rose grinned and seated herself in one of the chairs to wait.  All of the suit pieces he selected were pinstriped in one fashion or another.  None though, were like his brown or blue one.  He came out in the first set, which was  gray with navy pinstripes.  He walked around and was grimacing.  Rose looked up from her cell phone, “What’s wrong.” 

He turned and replied, “It doesn’t fit right.” 

Rose raised an eyebrow and stood to check the tag, “Is it the right size?” 

The Doctor looked at her indignantly, “I do know how to shop for clothes, Rose.  But it doesn’t fit right.”

Hearing the conversation, the attendant came over, “You know, these days, they make all the clothing a bit more generalized.  We have a tailor on-site that could adjust them for you.” 

The Doctor turned to face him, “What good is shopping for clothes if nothing is going to fit right when you put them on?” 

Rose cut in before the attendant could reply, “It’ll be all right and this is how things are done here.” 

The Doctor sighed and the attendant piped up, “Here let me help.” 

He made some adjustments to the material, “How’s that?” 

The Doctor looked in the mirror, “Oh, that is better!” 

He turned to face the attendant, “I guess I wouldn’t mind a bit of help, then.” 

The attendant smiled at that and between the three of them, the Doctor had picked out four suits that he would be comfortable in.  Finally, he decided to try on the tux.  Trial and error with the previous suits meant that he had changed his approach by the time he got to the tux and had a near-fit the first time he tried one on.  He came out, with a hesitant grin on his face.  Rose looked up and could not stop her breath from hitching.  In the tux, he really did look like the Doctor and a small smile began to tug at her lips.  This did not go unnoticed by the Doctor and without meaning to he quoted Cassandra from their adventures to New Earth, “You like it.” 

He offered a real smile.  Rose turned the faintest shade of pink, which made the Doctor’s grin broaden.  She tried to recover by saying, “It’s not bad.” 

The attendant stepped in, “This will probably require the least amount of tailoring.  He should be here by now, would you like me to go get him and then you won’t have to make two trips?” 

The Doctor nodded and the attendant left.  He walked over to Rose and smiled, when he heard her breath hitch.  “Rose Tyler,” he waggled his eyebrows at her, “I do believe you are taken with me in this tux.” 

Rose tried to recover, “I-I’d be taken with any man in a tux.” 

The Doctor grinned at that, “But I’m not _any_ man, am I?”

At that moment, the attendant returned with the tailor, saving Rose from having to give a reply.  The next hour was spent having the tailor take the measurements and pinning the adjustments that would be needed on the suits.  As things progressed, the Doctor decided that perhaps shopping was not so bad.  Not as convenient as the TARDIS making everything fit just right, but it was not as horrible as he thought it would be.  After thanking the attendant and the tailor, the Doctor headed for the door.  Rose grabbed his arm, “Not so fast, we need to pay.”

The Doctor turned around and ran his hand through his hair, “Oh, right. Pay.” 

He looked at Rose with an unasked question in his eyes, to which she replied, “Don’t worry, Dad said we’re to take care of startup for you.” 

She went back, paid for the clothes and set up to have everything delivered.  She turned back around, “Okay, _now_ we can go.”

* * *

The Doctor had calmed down considerably, but he realized that he was quite famished.  “So, Rose, where to now,” he asked, hoping she would hint at lunch. 

She started the SUV and backed out of the parking slot before answering, “Well, you need to get some casual clothes and you didn’t buy any shirts except the one to go with your tux.” 

His upper lip curled in a grimace, “Those were too dressy, I want something a bit more casual.” 

Rose sighed as she continued, “And you didn’t get any ties, either.” 

He sighed, trying to figure out how to explain to her that he was the same man, but had different tastes.

She turned to look at him waiting for his reply, “What do I need ties for?  You and Donna both said I needed to be more casual.” 

Rose shrugged, “Well, mum and dad being with Vitex, there might be events you’ll need to goto, so you should get at least a couple of ties.  We can get some that are more casual if you want.” 

He sighed, “Casual pants, casual ties, and fancy clothes… no wonder everyone brought so much stuff on the TARDIS.” 

Rose actually grinned at that, “Oi! Listen to you!  You’ve a wardrobe that goes on for miles.” 

The Doctor was about to reply with “Not anymore” when Rose realized her error, “I – I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” 

He nodded, “It’s alright, I was the one who mentioned it first.” 

She nodded, “Still, ‘m sorry.” 

He looked over at her and replied, “Thank you.”

They were quiet for a few minutes.  The Doctor broke the silence, “Um Rose, I don’t mean to be a pain, but before we start round two, do you mind if we get some lunch?  I never knew that shopping could make you so hungry.” 

Rose laughed at that, “Yeah, we can do that.  There’s a nice little place on the way to the next shop. Oh!  And we need to make sure to get you everything else too, shoes, socks, undergarments and the like.” 

The Doctor grimaced again, “Humans, you require so much up keep.” 

Rose was not impressed, “I thought you said you were one of us now.” 

He shook his head, “No, I said I’m part human – the aging part.  The rest is all still Time Lord.”

After lunch, Rose drove to a medium-sized store.  The Doctor read the name on the outside, “Harvey Nichols… Rose, I thought you wanted to be discreet.” 

Rose nodded, “It’ll be fine.  In this universe they’re local, just in London.  And being after the lunch rush we should be fine.” 

They both exited the SUV and entered the store.  The Doctor picked out some polo shirts a couple of dress shirt with ties sets and khaki trousers.  He even picked up a few Chunks.  Rose for the most part left him to it and this time he remembered they needed to pay.  Their final stop was to Tesco.  Rose parked, but informed the Doctor she would be waiting in the car, so he would be on his own this time.  The Doctor did not like the tone Rose used, “I’m not a child, Rose.  Things may be different from what I’m used to, but I do know how to take care of myself.” 

Rose just sighed at him and gave him some money.  The Doctor was actually relieved that Tesco was pretty much the same.  He picked up all the undergarments he might need and then proceeded to health products aisle.  He picked up items there he thought he might need, tasting each one, which drew ominous looks from other shoppers. He was glad his taste sensitivity was still present, but his stomach acid must have changed because as he was walking towards the till, he began to feel ill.  There were wrapped mint candies, so he added a pack of that to his pile.  Once he was checked-through, he opened the candies and popped one in his mouth.   He started to feel a bit better as he walked to the car.  He loaded his bags into the back seat and joined Rose in the front.  Rose took in his slightly green complexion, “You tasted all the items didn’t you?” 

The Doctor shook his head.  Rose rolled her eyes, “Then you at least tasted the ones you bought?” 

The Doctor argued back, “Look, how can I know if it’s got the right balance of ingredients without tasting it?”

Rose sighed again, “Fine, but I hope you learned your lesson.” 

The Doctor sighed at that, “I’ll be fine, Rose.  But, for now this was enough for one day, can we go back to the mansion now?” 

Rose reached behind her and grabbed his bags.  After checking to make sure he had everything he needed, set the bags down and started the car.  The Doctor sighed again, “So, did I meet with your approval.” 

Rose backed out of the space and started to make her way through the parking lot, “This time.” 

But it was not said in a kind manner.  The Doctor was getting frustrated, “Look Rose, this body may only be a week old, but the memories and knowledge are well over 900.  And yes, some things are gonna be different, but I can do well enough on my own.  This isn’t the first time I’ve been stranded on Earth.”

Rose’s jaw dropped at that, in an unasked question.  But instead she held her tongue and for that, the Doctor was grateful.  The rest of the trip was in an uncomfortable silence.  When they got back to the mansion, the Doctor lugged all the bags to his room.  He set them on the floor in the middle of the room, took off his jacket and tossed it across a chair and collapsed into a bed.  As exhaustion started to overwhelm him, he really hoped it had nothing to do with the little ‘tasting experiment’ he had done while at Tesco.  But even with that concern, it was not long before he fell asleep.

* * *

 

The Doctor slowly awoke to strange sounds in his room.  As he put the sounds together he realized it was the sounds of all his items being put away.  He cautiously opened one eye to the sight of Jackie hanging his clothes.  He arched an eyebrow as he opened the other eye, “Jackie, leave it, I can do it.” 

Jackie was startled, “Blimey, you nutter… Decided to join the land of the living, have we?” 

He half groaned and half yawned as Jackie was not deterred.  Finally he sat up, “Really, Jackie, I can do it.” 

Jackie sat down beside him, “That may be, but I figured if I came in here, they wouldn’t find me and might leave you alone.” 

Just as the Doctor was about to question her, the raised voices of Rose and Pete obviously arguing drifted up into his room.  He groaned again and collapsed back on the bed, covering his head with a pillow, “She knows… about the cannon?” 

Jackie rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  But you know she would’ve found out sooner or later.” 

He spoke from under the pillow, “I would have preferred later.” 

Jackie smiled lightly at that, “I bet.  Come on, I’ll finish with the hanging and you can put the other things away.  I brought a bureau in here while you and Rose were shopping.” 

He looked around, “I hadn’t even noticed earlier.”

Jackie teased the Doctor, “How you spent all that time travelin’ time and space without noticing things is beyond me!” 

That comment hit him wrong and he found himself sagging onto the bed.  Jackie continued to mutter on for a minute before she caught sight of him, “Doctor, Are you al…” 

She did not get to finish her question as he interrupted quietly, “I’m _not_ the Doctor.” 

Jackie finished hanging the shirt she was working on and came over and sat next to him.  When he did not speak she rested her hand on his knee, “You _are_ , though.  You said yourself that you look like him, same memories, same everything, but you're human.  I don’t need anything else.”

The Doctor sighed while staring at his hands.  He could not bring himself to meet her eyes, “I’m not.  I don’t have the TARDIS and I can’t see time lines quite as clearly as he could.” 

He tossed the bag about a meter in front of his feet and it clattered as it landed, “Even my stomach acid has changed, I tasted the products to know which to buy and it made me sick.  That’s why I was up here sleeping.” 

Jackie tried to rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her off.  Jackie held her hands between her knees, “It’s a bit of an adjustment for you, but I don’t care what you or Rose say; you _are_ the Doctor.  Everything that made him who he was, you have in you.”

The only reply the Doctor offered was a small shrug.  At that, Jackie bumped his shoulder, “And what about Tony?  He adores you already.  You’re the Doctor to him too!  And I read somewhere that kids can see through anything… You won’t accept my word… what about his?” 

At the mention of Tony a small smile toyed with his lips.  But, ultimately, he sighed in reply, “That doesn’t really help, Jackie.” 

She gently teased him, “Who said it was supposed to?  It is the truth, though.  And I caught that smile; you know it’s true too.  But if you won’t believe me, maybe I should go get him and have him tell you himself.”

The Doctor shook his head and became tense, “Please no, it will only make the shouting louder.  Speaking of, where is Tony?  He shouldn’t hear all this.” 

Jackie nodded, “Pete warned me, so I sent him over to his wee friend’s house.”

The Doctor relaxed noticeably, “That’s good.  Then we should definitely sort this now before he gets back.” 

Jackie was touched that he showed so much concern to her son, “He’s already gotten you wrapped around his finger doesn’t he?” 

This time, there was a small, but honest smile that crossed his features, “He makes it easier to remember how to be like a dad without the pain that usually comes with those memories.”

Jackie draped her arm across the Doctor’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug.   She spoke softly, “You two are good for each other.  He always believed in you: the one who brought his mum and dad back together.” 

The Doctor sighed, “I’m no more the Doctor than you are Pete’s wife.” 

At that, Jackie wacked his arm with her hand, “Now, none of that!  Pete an’ me, you were right about us.  Sure there were differences, different memories and he was still mourning… But we got through it!  And the two of us together are better than either of us was alone.”

The Doctor looked at her, “Jackie, have I ever told you that you’re brilliant?” 

Jackie shook her head with a small smile. 

“Well,” he continued, “You are.  And I should see myself differently.  I should see myself like Romana!  Oh, now _there_ was a brilliant Time Lord.  When I was in my Fourth body, she stayed behind in E-Space – another universe, just to make sure they had a Time Lord to help them.  Maybe I could do that here.” 

Jackie pulled him back into a hug, “I think that’s a wonderful idea, sweetheart!  And this Universe could use one.  Everyone here is a bit batty because of the Cybermen.”

The Doctor was about to reply when they heard the door handle jiggle.  Jackie spoke first, “I locked it when I came in.  Are you ready for this?”

The Doctor met her eyes, “There is no ‘ready,’ but may as well get it over with.” 

Jackie nodded as she stood to get the door, “No matter what Pete or Rose may say, just remember you have a home here, all right?” 

He nodded in reply and Jackie opened the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Jackie opened the door and as Rose entered she looked like she was about to hit her.  Luckily for both of them, Rose realized who she was looking at, then stormed over to where the Doctor sat on the bed.  Her hand was in a balled fist, pulsing with her anger.  Without a word and before the Doctor quite knew what she was planning, her fist made contact with his cheekbone.  The Doctor heard more than felt the sickening crack as he allowed the momentum to force him against the bed.  "Rose Marion Tyler!" Jackie's scream cut across whatever response either were about to express. 

The Doctor lay perfectly still trying not to whimper from the pain that was radiating from the side of his face. Jackie's steely blue eyes were trained on her daughter and with a deadly calm, she spoke, "Get out.  And I don't just mean out of this room.  I mean out of my 'ouse!  I don't tolerate this behavior from aliens and I sure as hell ain't gonna accept it from my own daughter!" 

Rose looked like she was going to argue but thought better of it and turned to leave.  Jackie followed her, ensuring that when Rose left, she was only allowed to take items she would need for Torchwood and the SUV.  Anything that Jackie considered a "benefit of being a Tyler" was to be left behind.

Once the two women left the room, the Doctor made his way to the en suite to look at the damage Rose had done.  There was already a bit of swelling that started to appear and he could see the indent from where his cheekbone was obviously broken.  He hissed as he gingerly touched the area and that was when he tasted blood and felt the inside with his tongue.   He winced as he heard the door slam.  He wandered over to the window and watched as Rose pulled away in her SUV.  He leaned his head on the window frame and sighed heavily.  A few minutes later there was a knock on his door and Pete Tyler entered before he could respond.

Pete took one look at the Doctor, "We should get you to A&E and have that looked at." 

The Doctor shrugged and didn't respond for a few seconds, "Will she be all right?" 

Pete joined him at the window, “I demoted her.” 

It was stated without emotion and the Doctor met Pete’s eyes with his own.  Pete continued, “I haven’t told her about the cannon yet.” 

The Doctor winced at those words, mostly because if this is how Rose reacted to being demoted, he did not want to know how she would react to the news about the cannon.  He sighed, “It might have been better just to fire her.” 

Pete turned his focus out the window before he replied, “No, she needs to learn her place and with what she’s done recently…  I don’t want her out of my sight.” 

The doctor nodded in reply, “So what is she doing, then?” 

Pete smiled wryly, “She told us the story about how she worked as a kitchen lady at that school…” 

The Doctor would have smiled a bit, but it was just too painful, he hissed in pain.  Pete rested his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder, “Come on, we need to get that looked at.” 

The Doctor nodded and let Pete lead him out of his room.  When the Doctor reached the stairs a sudden fit of dizziness overtook him and he swayed.  Pete was there to catch him and prevent him from toppling down the stairs.  Pete slowly and carefully helped the Doctor down the stairs.  Jackie had left to go pick up Tony, so was not around to help at this point.  They got to the bottom of the stairs and the Doctor tried to slink out of Pete's grasp, "I just need a moment, Pete." 

Pete nodded, "I'll get the car.  We'll have to go to Torchwood, but we'll take a route that Rose doesn't know I use." 

With that, Pete left the Doctor to get the SUV.  Once the house was empty, the Doctor allowed the physical and emotional pain to tear through him in one long scream that ended in a whimper. The Doctor did not know if Pete heard him, nor did he care.  When Pete returned a few moments later, he did not give any indication if he had and the Doctor was content to not address the issue.  Pete called ahead to warn the medics he was on the way and the drive to Torchwood did not take as long as it had the previous day.  For that the Doctor was grateful.  When they got there, Pete walked him to the Medical area and let the staff get to work.  The Doctor for his part kept arguing about the primitive nature of all the equipment.  When they were going to inject him, he made it clear that nothing aspirin-based was to be used do to allergies.

The Doctor did not know how much Pete had told his medical staff and so he left it as allergies, rather than any concern about some of his Time Lord biology playing a part.  Once he was assured that they would use nothing of the sort, he allowed them to work on him.  Even with the medicines they gave him, he grunted as they took the mallet and post and tapped the cheekbone back in place.  There was nothing else they could do and he hoped he could use one of the settings on the Sonic to finish the repairs.  They did stitch up the hole that the bone had punctured into the inside of his cheek.  Once they were done, they left him to rest.  He could not sleep and again discovered how much he missed the TARDIS.  That made him think about how Donna would take care of him and that made him gasp in sorrow for her loss, almost as much as the loss of the TARDIS.

* * *

 

The Doctor tried to force himself to sleep, however his overactive mind would not allow it.  Not to mention a part of him was still afraid that if he fell asleep, he might wake up only to discover that all of his Time Lord abilities had vanished.  He shuddered at the thought.  "If you're cold, I can get you a blanket," Jackie's concerned voice cut across his thoughts. 

The Doctor mumbled, because speaking properly would hurt too much, "Who's taking care of Tony?" 

Jackie could not help the smile that crossed her features, "He's here.  I thought you might like it better if I brought some dinner from home.  Chicken noodle soup.  If you're feeling up to it, we can all join you here." 

He offered a small smile because of the pain and he nodded slowly, "I think that's just what I could use."

Jackie came over to the bed and helped him sit up so he could eat more easily.  Once she got him settled, she went out into the hall.  The Doctor watched through the window as she leaned over and whispered something to Tony.  He hoped she was encoring Tony to be gentle.  He already loved the little tyke, but he was not in the mood to be jumped on.  A few moments later, Jackie and Tony came in with a cart with everything they needed for dinner.  Tony very quietly and carefully walked over to the Doctor and patted his hand, "I sorry you hurting." 

The Doctor again offered a small smile, "Thank you, Tony.  Can I have a hug?" 

Tony raised an eyebrow then looked at Jackie who nodded her head, "Be gentle." 

Tony scrambled up into the bed and hugged the Doctor. 

A smile broke out across the Doctor's features and even his pain did not stop it.  He hugged Tony to him tightly, "Thank you that helps me feel a little better." 

He released Tony and allowed him to scramble back off the bed.  Jackie watched the two of them with a mother's pride.  She spoke to Tony, "Why don't you run along and get your dad.  I'll get dinner set up." 

Tony beamed at being given a task and set off quickly to fulfill it.  That made the Doctor smile again, but since Tony was no longer in the room, he finished with a low, "Owwww!" 

Jackie came to his side looking worried.  He met her eyes, "It's okay.  Just smiling hurts a bit." 

Jackie gently squeezed his hand to show her support and set back to setting dinner up.

Tony returned with Pete a few minutes later.  The little family pulled up around the bed and feasted on the supper that Jackie had supplied.  The Doctor did not really feel like eating.  But the soup smelled good and he knew the food the clinic would supply would not be better.  Still, the broth and tea were easy enough to drink and the heat soothed the sore muscles of his cheeks from being punched and from everything the staff did to him to repair the damage.  He mentally removed himself from the conversation happening around him.  Jackie and Pete seemed to understand and so did not force him into talking with them.  He was grateful for that.  It did not take him long to get through the little meal, since he did not feel up to eating the bread or dessert anyway. 

When they were done, Tony helped Jackie to clear everything off and then she sent him home with Pete.  The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "You don't have to stay.  Pete's explained that I'm perfectly safe." 

Jackie patted his hand, "I know sweetie, but you ain't exactly resting, are you?  I figured it can't hurt to have someone watch over you." 

The Doctor smiled softly and closed his eyes.  He did not want to talk anymore and figured that since he was not tossing her out, Jackie would get the idea that he was okay with her presence.  Jackie for her part settled herself into a chair with a bag, dug out a book and quietly began to read.  The Doctor was fairly used to sleeping in all kinds of conditions, so the light did not bother him all that much. 

The Doctor did not expect having the presence of someone to sooth him to sleep.  Even with Jackie’s presence, his mind wandered to the past and the future.  He was shocked to realize he had been in this universe for less than a week and had spent a substantial amount of that time in bed.  He silently cursed his now frail body.  He sighed as he used his tongue to play with the knot in the suture on the inside of his cheek.  He supposed that this would be one way to learn if he had any rapid healing properties of his Gallifreyan DNA.  If he retained enough of his original DNA, he figured that he could then treat this experience as he would if he had run out of regenerations.  Of course, there were differences, his stomach acid was different, but his taste buds were similar.  He had discovered his sense of hearing was still acute and his vision… well, he expected his vision to change as it does for most humans.

The Doctor found that some of his biological functions he could control.  He had a bit of control over his heartbeat and actually still had a bit of control over his pain tolerance levels.  Which was more than he could say for his emotions.  He hoped they would settle the longer he was here, but right now, he was scaring himself with how little control he seemed to have over them.  Then he remembered, he has been in this universe less than a week and only conscious for about three days.  Those thoughts made him think of Rose.  He whispered, “Oh Rose, what’s happened to you?”

* * *

It took the Doctor several seconds to realize he had spoken that out loud.  He hoped that Jackie had not heard him.  He cracked an eye open and looked at her.  She looked positively engrossed in her book, so even if she had, she did not seem concerned about it.  Rose had always had a selfish streak.  He remembered when he first met her, sure he had told her of Wilson’s death, however she was more concerned with how he told her, rather than the fact that a person had died.  She had replied simply, “ _That’s just not funny.  That’s sick_.” At the time, he had written it off as shock.  After all, Autons had just chased her and he had pulled one of their arms off in front of her.  Besides, he had to blow up the signal, or things might have gotten a whole lot worse.  When he had followed the signal from the arm the next day, the last person he expected to find was that shop girl. 

Then she followed him, asking him questions and getting information out of him.  He had replied.  What other choice did he really have?  It had been so long since he had talked to anyone in a normal fashion.  During the Time War, there was no need for discussion.  He only gave and followed orders.  He had no other choice.  He figured the Autons had again come to Earth because of all they lost during the Time War.  He was not prepared for the Time War to impact the small blue and green planet that was like his second home.  Yet, that is exactly what they had done.  There was no way he could stand for that, but there was this shop girl who had to go and get in the way. 

She had asked him who he was, so he told her, in the best way he could.  That close to ending the Time War, he was still trying to figure that out for himself.  So he told her what he knew, _“It's like when you were a kid.  The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it; the turn of the Earth.  The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it.  We're falling through space, you and me.  Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go...  That's who I am.  Now, forget me, Rose Tyler.  Go home._ ”  She did not leave him.  He should have known then that she would never listen to him, “Go home,” “Stay put,” “Don’t cross dimensions.”  He huffed at that; he had been too needy after the War.  If he had a clearer head about him, he probably would not have chosen Rose as a companion. 

Except he needed her… well, needed someone, as Donna had put it.  The Doctor sighed at the thought of Donna.  Jackie looked up from her reading, but seemed to understand that he was trying to sleep and so left him.  He was glad for that; he did not want fussing right now.  His thoughts turned back to Rose and his regeneration.  He was terrified of being alone.  In fact, he was so scared that he allowed his thoughts of Rose to control his regeneration.  Oh he loved Rose Tyler, but never how she wanted him to.  “ _Humans_ ,” he thought to himself, “ _Such limited understandings of words_.”  And even within that he allowed her to control his regeneration.  There was no hope for him after that.  His looks, his attitude, everything was shaped to please her, to keep her with him.  Because he could not face the possibility of being on his own.  Then he lost her anyway, because she was selfish.  Because she never did what she was told.

The Doctor thought his final message to Rose had been enough to make her understand.  However, thinking about it now, perhaps he misjudged her.  He had told her that if he came through properly, both universes would collapse.  She had replied with, “So?”  He thought the emotions of the situation meant she was joking.  Oh, how he wished he had paid better attention to that.  He should have known between that and the revelation that she was working for Torchwood that she would attempt to return to her proper universe.  Then he had asked her about Mickey and then she mentioned there was a baby, he asked if she was pregnant.  He hoped that would be a sign that she had moved on.  He thought perhaps she and Mickey might have patched things up and started a relationship again.  But mostly, he hoped it was a sign that she had moved on.  Then she told him it was Jackie.  He could not help but being relieved at that, not because she was not pregnant, but more because things had worked out so well for Pete and Jackie.

Before he could speak his final farewell, the TARDIS ran out of power to maintain the connection.  Just as well, knowing what he knows now…  Rose would have taken it the wrong way and would have been less careful with the cannon than she had been.  He had just wandered around the console setting some coordinates when Donna had appeared in the TARDIS.  She thought he had kidnapped her and he was an emotional wreck believing he was on his own again.  As they went through their day, he realized that there were worse things than loosing Rose.  At least he knew she loved him.  That was more than he could say for Donna.  She had been so heartbroken.  They had been together less than an Earth day, but when they found each other again, he realized just how good they had been for each other. 


	12. Chapter 12

The Doctor woke with a start.  He had not even realized that he had fallen asleep.  He glanced over to the chair and noticed it was empty.  Jackie's bag was gone as well. He felt well rested, considering what brought him here.  He got up, used the restroom and then looked over his own charts.  At the top, under title it was listed as "Doctor," however first and last name had been left blank.  Pete had told him he had to choose a name and seeing the form, he understood he would have to do it shortly.  He climbed back into bed and again started to think about Donna and all his travels with her.

A few minutes later, a nurse came in carrying a tray of food.  She did the cursory things like checking his pulse, temperature, asking if he needed more pain medication.  What he really wanted was to be left alone.  He told her he was afraid of making a mess of breakfast in front of others and preferred eating the meal alone.  She nodded and told him that Pete wanted to check in on him when he was ready.  He nodded his understanding and she left him to it.

He got up again and grabbed his chart.  He ate slowly and carefully.  He was not in as much pain as the day before and he could tell the swelling was down from what it had been.  He just did not know if that was as fast as a human would heal or not.  He did have a residual headache, but it was not bad enough to require medical treatment.  He looked at the blank name in his chart and wondered what he should call himself.  He did not want to use "John Smith."  If anything odd ever happened and he and the full Time Lord ended up together again, it would make things profoundly confusing.  He knew he wanted to respect both aspects of his heritage: the Doctor and Donna Noble.  His Doctor side was simple, really there was no question about it.  His last name would be Foreman.  It is where everything on Earth began, after all - that Foreman junkyard.  And if it was good enough for Susan, it was good enough for him.

First and middle name would be a bit more difficult.  He considered Wilfred briefly, but he was not sure he could live up to that namesake.  He was more playing with his breakfast than eating it and was reminded of one morning when Donna had told him about her father.  "Geoffrey," he said out loud, trying the name out.  A small smile tugged at his lips and he knew he had found the perfect tribute.  He knew that it was traditional to have a middle name as well.  He was finishing off his breakfast as he thought about what that name should be.  A broad, if painful smile formed on his lips as he rolled his full name through his mind. 

"You seem to be feeling better," Pete's voice cut across the Doctor's thoughts. 

He slowly finished chewing and showed Pete his chart, "I was just thinking about those blank fields." 

Pete arched an eyebrow and then understood as he noticed the missing parts of information.  He then met the Doctor's eyes, "You've had enough time, then?  Shall I go get the paperwork so we can get started on setting up your identity?" 

The Doctor shook his head, "I'd like to be released from here first." 

Pete nodded, "Understandable.  I'll get your doctor and when he's done, we'll head up to my office." 

The Doctor offered a small smile, "Thanks, Pete." 

With that, Pete left the room. A few minutes later, the doctor who had tapped the Doctor's cheekbone back into place came in and examined him.  He seemed slightly surprised at how rapid the Doctor seemed to be healing, but saw no reason to keep him in medical any longer so released him.  Once the Doctor was dressed, he made his way up to Pete's office.  He was a bit nervous that he might run into Rose, but one of Pete's receptionists met him at the elevator and that made him feel a bit safer for some reason.  She guided him straight to Pete's office.  Pete was just ringing off as the Doctor entered and took a seat.  Pete nodded to the receptionist and she closed the door behind her as she left.

Pete studied the Doctor for a few moments before he sighed, "I hear you are healing rapidly." 

The Doctor gave a small smile, "Not as quick as I once did, but it's nice to know that it's still faster than most humans." 

Pete nodded before he continued, "I know I told you that you could have as much time as you needed, but you being checked into medical has forced my hand a bit.  You will need to choose a name before you leave here." 

The Doctor nodded, "I realized that as I looked over my chart.  And I am prepared, at least for that part." 

Pete nodded with approval, "Excellent." 

He then opened a series of forms on his computer.  He allowed the Doctor to input the information himself.  And only helped where needed.

* * *

Pete reviewed the forms, "Dr. Geoffrey Adric Foreman?" 

The Doctor nodded, "It is a way I can pay respects to all those who helped to shape me to who I am now." 

Pete nodded but did not press for more information just now, "And for your degrees?"  

The Doctor thought for a bit, "Isn't there a general degree that covers everything?" 

Pete chuckled, "I'm afraid not." 

The Doctor nodded, "I would say history, but I don't actually know the history of this universe all that well." 

He slid his hands into his pockets and started to pace thoughtfully, "Astrophysics with an emphasis in aerospace engineering would be the best choice.  That should cover the general basics for my broad knowledge of... just about everything.  Also, if I slip up and mention technology that doesn't exist yet, people will take it as something I'm planning." 

Pete again nodded his agreement, "Right.  I can take care of all the paperwork, however there is one thing you will need to do that I can't draft for you." 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as he sat down.  Pete grinned and continued, "You will need to write a dissertation.  Something that can be kept on file so if anyone does any checking, there will be something they can look into." 

The Doctor nodded, "Reviewed by Torchwood, I take it?" 

Pete nodded, "Oh yes, only to make sure whatever you write is consistent with knowledge that we currently have.  Once they review it, I have some contacts at various universities, you will only have to select one and we will send it there to make everything official." 

The Doctor nodded, "If we were still in the other universe, I would say Manchester... But, I don't know if that would apply here or not." 

Pete smiled, "No worries, I only work with the best, so I'll sort that part out."

The Doctor shifted nervously in his seat.  There were two more matters to attend to:  a job and where to live.  He was not sure he was ready to address either of them.  His shift did not go unnoticed by Pete, who raised his eyebrow, "Yes?" 

He just stared at Pete for a moment then absently stroked his jaw.  Pete was quite insightful, for a human, "As I said before, you are more than welcome to stay with us as long as you need.  Rose has a place in the city, so you don't need to worry about her being at the mansion." 

He met Pete's eyes and a small smile tugged at his lips, "Thank you." 

It came out a bit broken, but he continued after taking a breath, "I - I don't think I can work at Torchwood, I'm sorry, Pete." 

Pete only nodded in reply, "You have plenty to do with your dissertation and we couldn't let you work until your paperwork is complete anyway.  Ann will take you to get your legal photos taken for your IDs and licenses." 

With that, Pete called Ann into the room and introduced her, "Ann, this is Geoffrey, please take him down to legal so we can get him all his licenses.  If there are any questions, I have already sent them the files." 

Ann nodded and turned to the Doctor, "Geoffrey, if you would follow me?" 

And just like that, he was no longer the Doctor.  He was not sure how he felt about that.  He shook Pete's hand and turned to follow Ann. Ann tried to make small talk, but for once he really was not in any mood for that.  He apologized and Ann seemed to understand.  Before they reached the room she turned to him, "Look, I know a bit about you.  Well, as much as crosses my desk anyway.  And I just want to say that I hope you know many of us want you to feel at home here." 

She did not use his name and he noticed.  He turned to her while smiling softly, "Thank you, Ann.  Really, that means so much to me." 

With a squeeze to his hand, Ann left him. The Doctor completed the paperwork and received his ID cards.  He then realized how tired he was and wanted nothing more than to take a nap.  It had been a long day and it was only lunchtime.  He made his way back to Pete's office and Pete made arrangements to be able to run him back to the mansion.  On the way there, the Doctor smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry to be such a bother, Pete." 

A small smile crossed Pete's features, "It's alright.  I told you, these things are the least we can do.  You know, Rose told me about what you did for her and... for her Pete."  

At that, the Doctor ran his hand over his face, "That should have been the first clue to me that she couldn't be trusted." 

Pete pulled off into a park and stopped the car.  Turning to the Doctor he spoke, "Look, you can't blame yourself for everything about her.  She made plenty of her own decisions, even when you tried to do what was best for her to begin with." 

The Doctor mutely nodded his head and Pete continued, "I'm serious, Doctor.  All you have ever done is try to help people and save the universes.  But, sometimes saving one person is a lot harder than saving whole planets.  Even I understand that." 

The Doctor met Pete's eyes, his own shining with unshed tears.  He spoke thickly, "Thank you Pete, but can we just continue on?  I really need some sleep." 

Pete gave his shoulder one last squeeze of support and then continued back to the mansion.

Once they arrived, the Doctor made his way to his room.  He took a quick shower and then bundled himself into bed.  He quietly cried himself to sleep as the loneliness and feeling of loss overwhelmed him.  He hoped his high emotions were just part of the adjustment for him.  If he was going to be feeling like this all the time, he was going to need a friend like Donna.  Thinking about her made him want to run.  He wanted nothing more than to find a way back to the proper universe and make Donna whole again.  He took a shuddering breath and forced himself to calm down and stay in bed.  If he became over-exhausted, he would be no good to anyone. 


	13. Chapter 13

The Doctor awoke sometime later to a light tapping on his door.  Jackie’s concerned voice broke through his haze, “Doctor?” 

He rubbed his hands over his face, in an attempt to wake himself more.  He yawned as he replied, “Yeah, I’m here.” 

“You’ve locked the door and I’ve brought you some tea.” 

The Doctor slowly dragged himself out of bed and went to unlock the door.  He was not sure if he was hungry until he could smell the meal she had brought.  He was so lucky to have the Tylers to take care of him.  He opened the door and let her in.  She immediately encouraged him to get back into bed and set the tray across his lap.

“Feeling better, sweetheart,” Jackie asked as she made herself comfortable sitting on the edge of his bed. 

He gingerly touched his cheekbone and winced slightly.  He then shrugged, “You know I have a name now?” 

Jackie just looked at him, “Well, I’ll call you that if you want, but you’ll still always be the Doctor to me.” 

She watched him and since he gave no reply, she continued, “Want to share it with me at least?” 

He had taken a few bites of soup and met her eyes, “Geoffrey Adric Foreman.” 

She looked at him a bit and then said, “It’s a nice name.  Better than John Smith.”  She flashed him a smile, but still he did not reply to her other than to eat a few more bites.  So she asked, “Where did you come up with it?” 

He nodded, “Geoffrey Noble was Donna’s father and I wanted to acknowledge her history.  Foreman was the surname my granddaughter used when we first came to Earth.  And Adric…”  He broke off and took a shuddering breath, “...Adric was one of the youngest companions I ever traveled with.  And one of the bravest…  He sacrfi…”  He chocked back a sob, “He sacrificed himself to save the Earth from the Cybermen, oh… so long ago in my personal history.  But has yet to happen on Earth yet.” 

The Doctor returned to silence and tucked back into the soup Jackie had provided.  She gently patted his leg, “You’ve never had a easy time of it, have you?” 

He shook his head, but shrugged her comment off, “Still, doesn’t matter now.  I have a new life and a new chance to get it right this time.” 

He smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes, then took a few more bites of soup.  Jackie looked over him and either from Mother's Intuition asked, "But you still need something.  What is it, sweetheart?" 

The Doctor met her eyes and was quite for a bit.  Finally, he sighed, "I'm part Time Lord, part human.  And both parts are missing someone terrible." 

Jackie smiled softly, "The TARDIS?" 

He nodded, "And Donna." 

Jackie reached out with a hand and stroked the Doctor's uninjured cheek.  After a couple seconds, she realized something, "Hey, maybe there's a parallel Donna, like with Pete?  You could go meet her."  

The Doctor knew what she was trying to do.  He had thought about it himself, until he remembered the time-lines converging around Donna.  He sighed deeply, set his spoon down and met Jackie's eyes.  Deep sorrow lay in his own, "I've thought of that, Jackie, but Donna... was the most important woman in the whole of creation.  And with someone like that, there can be only one." 

He sighed as an unnoticed tear slipped down his cheek.  Jackie nodded, trying to come up with a way to cheer up the old sod, but decided maybe he just needed to mourn a bit. The Doctor finished his soup in silence.  When he was done, Jackie offered to take the tray with her and informed him that she had to pick Tony up from school, "Is there anything you need before I go?" 

He shook his head, "I think I'm going to take another nap, though.  My Time Lord bits are designed to help me heal when I'm asleep." 

Jackie nodded and patted his leg again, "Right, well you sleep, then.  Besides, I'm sure Tony would love to spend time with you, if you're feeling up to it later." 

A small smile crossed the Doctor's features as he made himself more comfortable in the bed, "I think I'd like that." 

Jackie smiled a little to see his mood lift, "Right, you rest and I'll sort these things and go get Tony." 

He nodded and closed his eyes.  Jackie quietly left his room and closed the door behind her. A few moments after Jackie left, the Doctor curled onto his side, in the fetal position.  He found himself wishing for a time machine.  Any kind of time machine would do.  He just wanted to fast-forward a few months, make all the pain and agony of adjustment go away.  Which he knew, from all his lives, was silly.  There was no way to get through growth and change without going through it.  He just wished it did not have to hurt so much.  He sighed, silently cursing Jackie for forcing him to confront the truth about Donna.  There was no way for Jackie to know, of course, but that did not make it hurt any less.  He reached behind him, took the spare pillow and curled himself around it.  He closed his eyes and tried to pretend, just for a bit that it was his best mate and she was running her hand through his hair, much like she had during all those times after Midnight.  He took a shuddering breath to try to calm himself and relax into his fantasy.  He knew he needed sleep, but he was not sure he ever actually fell completely asleep.  He more lay there with his eyes closed in the hazy twilight between being awake and asleep.

* * *

The next three months passed in much the same manner.  It was broken with the bit of joy little Tony brought to his life.  The rest of the time was spent writing his dissertation.  Pete had found a laptop for him to use, so he was able to take it with him and write in various places around town.  This provided him the opportunity to get to know the differences in this London and it was not long before he had learned the city well enough to find his own way about.  Occasionally, he would work in the space at Torchwood Pete had arranged for him.  But, it was rare and only when he was certain Rose would not be around.

He felt like a child hiding from her, but after all that had transpired, he wanted to focus on one thing at a time.  And right now?  That was his dissertation.  Once he had everything completed to establish himself in this world, it would be easier to focus on those other matters.  A part of him did miss her, however they had both changed so much and those things need to be considered before he could figure out what that meant for the two of them.  He had settled in the Slow Path much more quickly than he anticipated.  It helped a great deal when he simply accepted being here and allowed Pete, Jackie and Tony to include him as part of the family. 

He would plan to be away working on his dissertation whenever Rose was invited over.  Sometimes he would even be gone an additional few days, just so Rose would not get too suspicious.  However, his luck ran out the day a package from Oxford arrived and Jackie invited Rose over for a family celebration.  Jackie had given the staff the weekend off and so it was a family-only event.  Of course, she mentioned none of this to the Doctor, so when Tony came up to get him for dinner he was a bit surprised.  In the past few months, Jackie had taken to hollering for him as she did for Tony.  He was no longer a guest, but a member of the family.  He knew something was up because Tony had an “I know something you don’t” expression about him. 

The Doctor followed Tony down the stairs and he was greeted with the smells of the foods he had discovered he liked best on this Earth since he had come.  He moved to go to the kitchen, but Tony grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dining room, “Tony, you’re not allowed in there.” 

Tony just grinned and replied, “Today’s spe-sal!” 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but followed the tyke.  Tony opened the door to the dining room and the Doctor was greeted to a very formal setting.  The Tyler’s fine china and crystal adorned the table.  The food was displayed properly in Jackie’s sterling silver serving dishes.  Candelabras adorned the table and gave the room a warm and welcoming glow.  All of those images contrasted with the casual attire the Tyler’s were wearing.  

The Doctor looked around and commented, “Oh have I buggered it?  Is it your anniversary?  I’m sorry I didn’t know…” 

Jackie grinned broadly, “No, you plum!  This is about you.” 

The Doctor looked around with a confused expression.  At that point, Rose came into the room with an envelop.  The Doctor looked her over.  She looked well, but he could not quite stop the flinch he made upon seeing her.  She was carrying an envelope and presented it to him.  She seemed to hesitate at what to call him and suddenly came to a decision, “Geoffrey, I think this will explain everything.” 

There was something strangely comforting about her not calling him ‘Doctor.’  He could not quite place his finger on it, but he did not correct her. He took the envelope and the Tylers gathered around him as he opened it.  The first thing that came out was a hardbound copy of his dissertation, “Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.”  Even if he could not have his TARDIS here, he had found a way to keep her memory alive.  He lovingly caressed the letters of the title and his name: “Geoffrey A. Foreman.”  Rose smirked and playfully said, “Do you two want to be alone?” 

He looked up at her, his eyes slightly misty.  He had never been advanced enough on Gallifrey to have anything published and though Earth history had made many recordings of him, it was not the same as having something published.  In reply he shook his head.  Pete encouraged him, “Don’t stop there, there’s more.” 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at Pete.  Jackie then took the book to hold it for him while he fished in the envelope.  He thought it might be a diploma, instead, he found a letter of formal invitation to the Winter Commencement ceremonies for Oxford University.  It was only two weeks away.  Included in the activities would be a hooding ceremony where he would receive his academic regalia.  At that point the tears he had been holding back, began to fall.  He was actually looking forward to the pomp and circumstance of everything.  For as much as he despised some of the Gallifreyan formalities, it was oddly comforting to think about participating in some on Earth.  He broke himself from his reverie, though and asked, “Thank you, but why all of this?” 

Tony piped up, “Cos… you're spe-sal!”  

The Doctor looked down at him and picked him up and hugged him close.  “Thank you, Tony,” he was about to say more, when Jackie took Tony from the Doctor’s arms and set him in a chair. 

Pete handed the Doctor a glass of wine, “That, and you’re the first member of the family to receive an advanced degree.” 

The Doctor blushed faintly.  He still was not used to being considered a part of… anything.  The Doctor looked at the four faces of the Tylers, “But, it’s not like I’ve done anything.”

Jackie came over to him and guided him to a chair, “Nonsense.  Just because you didn’t have to attend human classes to gain all that knowledge in your head, doesn’t mean you didn’t have to work for it.  ‘Sides, you wrote that all by yourself and you had to make sure your knowledge fit with ours.  I think that’s plenty of work to earn a degree.” 

The Doctor sat down at her encouragement, besides he really was hungry.  Tony was sitting on one side, Rose took the seat next to him and Pete and Jackie took the remaining two seats.  He again looked over the layout and smiled.  He then made eye contact with each of them, “Thank you all, I couldn’t have done it without you.”  He noticed Rose shift uncomfortably and he looked pointy at her, “ _Any_ of you.” 

Rose offered a small smile of acceptance.

That small exchange seemed to calm any tension that seemed to have existed before.  The dinner was quite enjoyable and everyone had a reason to laugh at one point or another.  Jackie got up and started to clear the table.  When Jackie had left, Rose stood and said, “And we should all head out to the living room for dessert.” 

Tony’s eyes got big, “Even _me_?” 

Rose nodded but looked at the Doctor, “It’s a special occasion, mum said you could join us.” 

Tony slid out of his chair and ran to the other room.  Pete followed to keep an eye on him, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone together.  They stood there staring at each other for a bit.  Rose sheepishly spoke, “Long time, no see.” 

The Doctor smiled faintly at the memory, “Yeah, been busy, y’know.” 

He lovingly reached out and again stroked the golden words on the book. Rose also reached out and stroked a corner of it, “It’s a perfect tribute.  I bet she’d be so proud of you for it…” 

The Doctor did not meet her eyes, “The binding is the wrong color, it should be blue.”

She just smiled, “They have specifications.  Has t'be black.” She paused before continuing, “I am so proud of you.” 

The Doctor finally looked at her, “Even after I destroyed your work?” 

If he was honest with himself, it was a bit of a test; he wanted to see if she had changed at all in the past few months.  Rose looked up at him; he could see the hurt in her eyes.  She looked like she was about to speak when Jackie called them into the other room.  Rose turned to face the door and turned back, “I’m still trying to get used to it. But in some ways, it’s made it easier to move on.” 

With that, she turned to go to the other room.  The Doctor was pleasantly shocked.  They had both changed in the past few months and he wondered if maybe they could start over after all. The Doctor followed Rose into the other room.  He was greeted with more celebratory foods.  There was a lovely “Congratulations” Cake, coffee again in Jackie’s good china and water for Tony.  He again looked from one to the other, again feeling overwhelmed with everything going on.  He tried to cover it up, though and was grateful that no one was asking him what he would do next.  Once they were done, Jackie, Pete and Tony left the room.  Rose and the Doctor remained behind.  The tension from before dinner returned.  Both of them were shifting uncomfortably in their seats like a couple of teenagers.  Finally the Doctor spoke, “So… you know what I’ve been up to.  How’ve you been?” 

Rose stared into her empty cup, “Oh, working and taking care of the flat.  Keeps me busy enough.” 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at that, “No friends to spend time with?” 

Rose met his eyes with sadness in her own, “I never planned to stay here.  Never dreamed I’d come back.” 

The Doctor sighed, “Be left behind, you mean.” 

Rose sighed, “That too.” 

They fell into silence.  Neither wanted to be the one to break it, but it was uncomfortable.  Rose finally said, barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry.” 

The Doctor just raised an eyebrow and so Rose continued, “For everything.  I… I was awful to you and then… on top of everything I punched you, because I thought you had told dad to demote me.” 

They fell into silence again and a minute later, Rose’s soft voice broke through, “Anyway.  ‘M sorry.” 

The Doctor quietly nodded his head and after a few more minutes met her eyes, “Thank you.” 

They each were awkward, but it was a start.  Considering their long silence had started with a fist to the Doctor’s face, it was an acceptable start.  He stood and walked over to join her on the sofa.  He sighed, “I meant what I said earlier.  You helped me too.” 

Rose just rolled her eyes at him, “Yeah, helped get you stuck here.  If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be here.” 

The Doctor shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not.  If he hadn’t been so focused on running towards you, he wouldn’t have been shot.  If he hadn’t been shot, no regeneration energy into the hand.” 

He wiggled the fingers on his right hand, “Love the hand.  And if that hadn’t happened, there wouldn’t have been anything for Donna to touch.” He paused reflectively, “So… if it weren’t for you, three lives would’ve been lost.  Mine, Donna’s and the TARDIS.”  

Rose sighed, “That’s not true and you know it.” 

The Doctor sighed in return he had tried.  Really, it was as positive as he could get with her right now, “Well, can’t fault a guy for trying.  I’ve learned a bit about humans in the past few months.  I even learned some things about my own humanity.” 

At that Rose met his eyes and raised an eyebrow, “Yeah?  Like what?” 

The Doctor waved his hand through the air, “Just… things.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you thought it got dark before. Darkness Falls. Or is it as bad as it seems? Last Chapter... Unless inspiration strikes.

The Doctor woke to the sound of terrified screams.  It took him a few moments to realize his own screams had brought him out of his sleep.  He was drenched in sweat and had tears streaming down his face.  His breathing laboured as he tried to remember what it was he had been dreaming.  He hissed as he thought about Donna.  He rolled out of bed and walked to the window.  He looked up and was disappointed at how different the stars looked here.  His head was reeling.  He thought that by now, he would have adjusted, but he had not.  His throat was scratchy and so he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water.  He was starting to wonder if it had been a good idea to move out of the Tyler Mansion so soon.  He filled the glass and took a long drink.  The flat was quiet.  Too quiet.  He hoped he had not wakened his neighbours with his screams.  He shuddered again at the thought of Donna calling out to him for help.  He drained the glass.  It was in these moments that he wished he could go and look in on Tony Tyler.  The tyke had a presence about him that calmed everything that was chaotic for Geoffrey. 

He did not have any idea how much time had passed in the other universe and that bothered him.  His time sense had adjusted itself quite nicely to this universe, but he had no idea about any others.  He shrugged at the thought, because humans tended to be like that as well.  Still, it was painful to think that some of his time-sense might be waning.  He was relieved that today was Saturday.  He did not have to go to work today.  Oh, he loved the college students, his research assistants, and research fellows were a tremendous bunch.  But in times like this, when he felt like a total failure… he was glad he did not have to face anyone. The Physics department at Cambridge University had hired him not long after reviewing his dissertation.  He had started during the summer so he could get his bearings, but had no official responsibilities until the start of the Fall Term.  He worked with Torchwood as a ‘consult’ but did that more to keep an eye on Rose more than for any other reason.  He was worried about her, not so much about her mental health, but more because she seemed to have become so accepting of everything.  She was suddenly completely content and that unnerved him. 

Rose was not the kind to give up or give in and she really did not seem to understand her role in how things had gone down with the Daleks.  His research at Cambridge was about rifts and tears in the fabric of reality.  He had already come across some terrifying information. The trials and tests that were associated with the Dimension Cannon had some devastating effects, not just on this universe, but from what he could tell, possibly on others as well.  He sometimes wished he had a TARDIS so he could see how far the damage had spread.  For now, he had to make do with what he had, which was surprisingly advanced, especially when he was able to spruce it up with his Sonic, which he did not do very often.  He was trying to keep as low of a profile as possible. He knew he would have to talk to Rose about these things sooner or later.  He was afraid to, because he suspected she might be working on another cannon.  The problem was, he had no proof.  There was no way he could go to Pete Tyler with the information he had and expect anything to change.  

Perhaps that is why he had the nightmare tonight: everything catching up to him.  He had only moved into the flat a month before classes started.  He wanted to be closer to the university.  Though with the amount of time he spent there, he could have easily not paid for a flat and just lived in his office.  Still, it was nice that he a place that was ‘his’ and that was not work.  It was a two-bedroom flat, but the second bedroom, he was using as a science lab.  This is where he worked on the more delicate aspects of both his research for Torchwood, and his own ‘pet project’ into the plausibility of another Dimension Cannon being built.  He usually would work on things when he could not sleep.  Much as tinkering with the TARDIS had done when he had her.  The downside now, of course, was that he did not have a TARDIS and none of these things were sentient and so none of them would talk back.  Tonight though, he would not be doing any work.  He had learned in the past couple of months that working when he doubted himself, it just led to him redoing everything.  

He refilled his glass and drank the crystal water again before setting the glass in the sink.  He wandered back to his bed and sat down.  He grimaced as he realized how wet the sheets were from him sweating.  He decided to change the sheets and did so.  Then he sat down again.  He was thinking of laying down when he started to shake and a feeling a panic overwhelmed him.  He knew then that he would not be going back to sleep anytime soon.  He sighed and got back up.  He wandered into the bathroom, thinking that a hot shower would probably do him a world of good.  He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a fresh towel and he set it on the toilet, so it would be in easy reach when he was done.  He rubbed his hands over his face and then looked at himself in the mirror.  That is when he saw the shadow.  He looked behind him, but there was nothing there.  Then he looked in the mirror again and saw a familiar image.

* * *

“What‽”  He said, though he did not expect any reply. 

The image came closer; it was a little girl in a pink coat holding a red balloon.  The Doctor’s eyes grew large, “What?” 

He again looked behind him, even though reason told him she was only appearing in the mirror.  “What!?” He said a final time, though he was sure she would not answer. 

When he calmed down and seemed to be studying her more than simply shocked, she spoke, “Every mirror.” 

He swallowed thickly, she was Sister of Mine from the Family of Blood, “But how did you…?  This is a different universe!  I thought he was going to make sure to seal off all of the gaps….” 

She shook her head with a small knowing smile and replied, “ _Every_ mirror.” 

The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair pulling slightly,  “But this is a different universe.  You shouldn’t be able to get here.” 

She sighed in mock frustration, as if he were an idiot, “I’ve been able to get here for some time.  The Doctor… The Other Doctor, the one who locked me here… he sent me this time.” 

Geoffrey nodded, “Once a year he promised to visit.” 

The girl who used to be Lucy Cartwright nodded.  Geoffrey was still in a state of shock, “You’ve been able to get here for some time.  Have you been watching me?” 

A sly smile appeared again, “ **Every** mirror, Geoffrey.  **_Every_** mirror.” 

She was patronizing him now.  He leaned against the sink, “Why reveal yourself now?” 

She shrugged, “The Doctor, still thinks of you.  He hopes you are doing well.  The last time he had come to visit me, he had fallen so far.  I thought it would help him to know how you were doing, so I told him.” 

Geoffrey looked shocked and hurt, “You’ve been spying on me for him?  What?  Does he think I’ll destroy this universe the way I did the Daleks?” 

Lucy shook her head, “He wanted information; he wanted to know how you were doing. I would have never revealed myself to you.  Except…” 

Geoffrey raised an eyebrow, “Except…” Then his eyes narrowed, “You’ve made a bargain with him.  He plans to let you go, then?” 

She nodded her head, “If I help to save two universes, he says that will pay the debt I owe, however, I will be bound to this corporeal body and left on a humanoid planet of my choosing.” 

Geoffrey nodded his head, it seemed like a just sentence to him.  She would be forced to live and die as one of the creatures whose life she had taken.  He sighed, “So, you are here for your own gain then, not to save the universes?” 

She shook her head, “My ‘gain’ as you call it would be my parole, nothing more.  At any time, he would be able to again return me to this prison.” 

Geoffrey swallowed hard and nodded.  He hated questioning her like that, but he needed to be sure that her motives were at least somewhat clear.  He spent a few moments in silence and nodded to himself, as if coming to a decision, “You said you could help save two universes, how?” 

She seemed to suddenly go shy, “I know that the boundaries between the realities are again in jeopardy.  I can help you communicate with the Doctor here.  The two of you can work together through me.  Then everyone gets what they want:  you two save the universes and I gain some sense of freedom.” 

He huffed, “Is that the deal he’s made with you, then?  You act as some kind of conduit between the universes.” 

Lucy nodded, “I was trapped in every mirror, it is in my nature now to easily travel between the universes.” 

Geoffrey swallowed hard, “How many are affected?” 

It was the same question that the Doctor had asked her not long before.  So she was better prepared for her answer this time, “I used to only be able to access the one universe.  I can now access seven that I know of.  But, there are ripples that I can see, so I am fairly certain that I either have access to more, or I will soon.” 

Her words were distressing to him, but he knew he could use her for other information as well.  He spoke hoarsely, “How is Donna Noble, do you know?” 

Her arrogant smile became sad, “You know what he had to do to her to save her life?  I would say she is doing a great deal better than him.” 

Strange as it seemed, that did comfort him somewhat, knowing that Donna was all right, even if she could not remember all her greatness.  He paused in thought again and decided to return to the task, “Can you tell why you’re able to reach other universes now?”

Lucy shook her head, “No, but I might be able to discover it for you.  The Doctor believes that someone is again working on a Dimension Cannon.  However, the readings are different from the last time, so he isn’t sure.  He can’t even tell where the tears are originating from.” 

Geoffrey sighed, “But he came here first because of Rose.  He has the same concerns I do.” 

She shrugged, “He didn’t give me details, but the expression on your face is similar to his, so I would think you’re both thinking of the same cause.” 

He winced; he forgot that is was harder to hide his emotions in this body.  Lucy, for her part did not miss a thing, “I have sworn to only speak to the two of you.  He will know if I don’t keep that promise and will bind me to the mirror forever.” 

He nodded his understanding.  The Doctor must be greatly concerned to level such a threat against someone who was powerless anyway.  Finally Geoffrey sighed, “I need to think some things through.  Return to the Doctor and tell him what we’ve discussed.  If the three of us work together, I have no doubt we can save the universes again!” 

Lucy nodded and left.  

* * *

 

Geoffrey took a shower and felt much better afterwards.  He had a sense of confidence, first that he was probably not wrong about Rose, which depressed him.  Secondly, that he was not in this alone and there would be a solution to their problems – or at least he hoped there would be.  For now, he would just have to wait.  He thought he could sleep now and so exited the bathroom and returned to his bedroom.  Once there, he slipped on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and climbed back into bed.  He knew he would need to be in top mental condition to work out whatever the solution was going to be and in his human body, which meant he needed sleep.  He breathed a sigh of relief.  Knowing he was not in this alone relaxed him.  Donna was right, the Doctor was rubbish on his own, but the Doctor was right about Donna:  so was she.  This meant that this would be the most difficult challenge he had ever faced, either as the Doctor or as a human.  He was startled from his sleep not twenty-five minutes later, when three sets of burly hands pinned him down, as he was about to scream, he felt something prick his neck.  After that, he sank into a strange sort of blackness.

He came to with a shock as ice water suddenly covered him.  The ice cubes hit his bare skin.  He inhaled quickly then hissed in pain.  His arms had been shackled to either side of him and his feet were shackled as well.  His wrists ached from where they had supported the weight of his body while he was unconscious.  He groaned and tried to get his bearings.  He was in a concrete room.  At the far side was a metal desk on the other side of him was a metal table and what looked like tools that could be used for dissection.  He shuddered as he realized that he had been ‘found out.’  He could make out shadowy figures near the wall, but the way the lights were shining in his face, he could not tell how many there were.  He dared to ask a question, “What do you want?” 

The answer was a whip being used against his back.  He hissed.  Suddenly a mechanical voice spoke, “You will speak when spoken to.” 

He recognized that voice; sort of.  More he recognized who that voice was supposed to mimic.  Which meant there was only one person in this whole universe that could be.  But, he could not let on that he knew. For now, he decided it was best to play along, “Davros.” 

The voice responded, “Hear the arrogance in his voice?” 

The shadows around him erupted in laughter.  His heart – was breaking, as was his soul: why would Rose do this to him?  The voice continued, “You know why I have brought you here?” 

It did not matter if it had actually been Davros or that it was Rose, the answer was the same, “You want back to the other universe.” 

The voice cackled, “Very good! I have waited so long for this, _Doctor_.” 

A shiver ran up his spine with the way the voice said his name; maybe he was arrogant.  Perhaps it was Davros after all.  He shook his head - no Davros was dead.  The Voice, though close, was not quite right.  The Doctor tried for his usual carefree attitude, “Can’t be that long, we’ve only been in this universe less than a year.” 

That earned him a hard slap across the face as the shadows around him laughed again.   The voice came again, “You will learn to respect me, which you haven’t done in all these years.” 

That tore a sob from him, knowing that Rose was talking about herself.  The voice came again, “You will be left here to think about what actions or inactions have led you to this point.  And you will think about how you will best be able to serve me.” 

The Doctor sighed and under his breath replied, “Not bloody likely.” 

He winced, expecting another blow of some form that never came.  It was not until two minutes later that he realized he was alone in the room.  He opened his eyes again to take in the room.   The first thing he noticed was not the room around him, but the fact that he was naked.  He groaned, Rose was serious if she was doing this to him.  He took a deep breath and looked about the room.  Again, he saw the metal table, this time he shuddered it absolute fear, there was no telling how that might be used against him.  In the corner of the room, he saw a security camera.  They were watching him and probably they were listening in as well.  However, what shocked and pleased him at the same time was the giant mirror that hung across from him. 

Rose probably thought that his vanity would get the better of him if he saw what they were doing to him.  She might be right, but what she could not know was that he had a secret weapon: Lucy!  She might prove more valuable than he ever imagined!  For now, though, it was best that he prepare himself for the worst to happen.  He took a deep, calming breath.  He was fairly certain Rose would ask him to get whatever sense of a dimension cannon she had working.  The trouble was would he be able to do that knowing that it could do untold damage to this or any other universe.  He sighed, the answer, of course, was “no”.   He would just have to find a way to delay her or live long enough until he could get Lucy to tell the Doctor what was going on and hope they find a solution.


End file.
